Thursday, January 05, 2006

This Bitch Seriously Needs To Get Laid…

I usually lurk on a group called Afroerotik . I guess you could say that the purpose of the group is to discuss sexual issues from a black perspective.

Anyway, I originally joined because I thought there might be some interesting debates, and you guys know how much I like to have my say.

As I read the posts from the group owner, one thing soon became obvious. This bitch needed to chill the fuck out.

She’s an aspiring writer who shares her stories with the group. This is a good thing. However, she tends to get damn right scathing, if she doesn’t actually get any feedback from them, after she posts an excerpt. This is not a good thing.

I’ve been amused for months by her various rants. I rarely posted because quite frankly, the bitch is as scary as Tom Cruise on anti-depressants.

She was always going crazy at the group for not talking about what she wants them to talk about, which was one of the reasons why I rarely participated in the discussions.

She’s the kind of angst filled black woman I would usually avoid like the plague. All her subjects are usually centred around racism, which kinda gets wearing after a while.

What I did notice, was that on the odd occasion that I decided to contribute, my posts never actually showed up. I just assumed this was because I’d made a mistake. I soon figured out that that the owner wasn’t letting my posts through. WTF?

Anyway, let me give you an example of the type of rants that she regularly indulged in:

“I've had the flu for a week now. I was too sick to even get out of bed for a few of those days. Even in my fevered, aching delerium, I was ever hopeful that there would be some sign of intelligent life in this group, some sort of discussion that would be challenging people to look at ourselves and change our perceptions. I understand, the holidays and travel and family and parties take up people at this time of year.

I'm also quite sure I specifically said that if I don't see some sort of effort to really discuss deeper issues and start working on healing ourselves in this group, that AfroerotiK would go bye bye.

It seems more than obvious to me in the last several weeks that people would be content to let this group be a regular ole Ebony Chat group that asks about what everybody did on the weekend and not much more. I'm extremely disappointed in the effort of the members of the group to show support for my writing.

I have contributed enough short stories to this group to fill two books. You want to know how many comments I got from people on the last story I wrote? ONE. ONE comment!

I wrote a story about an interracial couple that fell in love and engaged in alternative sex and ONE person out of 17,000 found the time and energy to comment. Is that not a storyline that deserves dialogue? You begged for audios. I gave you FREE audios. I gave you a FREE 40 minute podcast discussing Black sexuality. What did I get in return? NOTHING!!!!

I give up. You don't appreciate what I do so why should I bother?”

Who the effing hell sends out a post like that to members of her own group? Whatever happened to trying to win friends and influence people?

This is one of her latest posts:

“I was all prepared to shut the group down. I've begged and pleaded and begged some more about getting more feedback only to be met with people who swear they will contribute more and never do and others who seem to take pleasure in calling me names and getting an attitude when they post one single message and I don't respond to it.

I've asked what exactly is so hard about giving feedback and the only response I get seems to be that I'm too smart and people are intimidated by responding or that the issues are too trivial to respond to. As many people seem to take pleasure in telling me exactly how enlightened they are, the same ones that seem to feel that the group is best shut down, I've yet to read one thing that is particularly inspiring, that is would lead me to keep the group open.

Shutting the group down, however, will shut the door on the potential for my vision. I might be the only person that sees the vision but without the vehicle, we can't get there. So I have to endure being called names, I have to endure people not accepting responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior, not acknowledging where they need to grow because this is the only place where growth can happen.

The thing that will make the name calling and the dysfunctional behavior more tolerable is companionship. I can't keep doing this alone. There are emotionally evolved black men that have healed themselves from patriarchy and misogyny and I deserve their companionship.
{K: Yeah, but you may need an attitude adjustment first}

I deserve love and affection from someone that has moved beyond their childhood issues, who has a vision for the future that isn't tied to pussy, money or validation of their dysfunction. I'm not sure what's been keeping me from forming a relationship with someone healthy but I resolve to take more chances, to put myself in places where I can meet the type of men that I am interested in. I resolve to continue to heal myself to create a space to find companionship with a like minded individual. I know he's rare but he does exist.”
{Only in your dreams Bitch}

Need Ritalin much?

Check out some e-mails that we exchanged:


"I've sent several posts to this list, but for some reason they don't appear. Can I assume you moderate them, and you pick and choose which posts appear and which

don't? I haven't flamed in any of them, so I find it difficult to understand why you wouldn't let any of them through."


"You don't contribute when I post why should I let your messages through?"


"Don't you get tired of angst Afroerotika? I think you would be Much better off worrying less about what the group is talking about, and just be grateful that you have such a lively list.

You need to just step back and breathe. Not everybody wants to talk about deep and meaningful subjects all the time, life's just too short. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. People don't like being told what they can discuss and what they can't. You really need to just chill out, and stop trying so hard."


"I get tired of people like you. You are now no longer a member of the group."

I’ve been removed from the group. Wow, I’ve never had that happen to me before. Does this mean I’m a badass?

Anyway, here’s my final e-mail to her:


"People like me? I thought I was just giving you sound advice actually. You worry too much about stuff that in the great scheme of things don't matter all that much. Do you know how bitter you sound when you go off on one?

I never attacked you, but you obviously felt that I did and for that I'm truly sorry. I get it, it's your group, and you control things, but aren't you doing exactly what you advocate against? You’re limiting free speech. I had an opinion on the Tookie Williams debate the other day, but you didn't bother letting that through. That was my one attempt at posting in response to a current issue, but you obviously felt that it wasn't good enough, or it didn't gel with your thoughts.

That's kind of messed up don't you think?

I've seen some of your posts where you complained about people sending abusive e-mails to you, I wonder now, if some of the e-mails were along similar lines to mine? All I ever did was put my point of view across. It wasn't me who used the phrase 'people like you' which is incendiary in itself. You did that, not me.

I'm sorry you didn't have the courage to let my posts through, but it's your group, and you'll do what you want.

You strike me as being a very unhappy person, and I think that one day, you'll look back, and wonder why your knickers were in such a constant twist. Life's truly too short, and you ought to just chill out, and enjoy being alive.”

She has yet to respond. I wont hold my breath. Normally, I relate quite well with special needs cases. This moronic bitch couldn’t even get along with Mother fucking Teresa of Calcutta.

I wonder what kind of medication she’s on….