In Which The Art Of Subtlety Is Totally Lost...

In response to this title, a cyber pal wrote:

"I'm going to write a threesome story about a girl who falls in love with twins and call it "The Assfuck Twins"

She's got a point, it would be just as catchy would it not? *g*

I guess they were going for the hard-sell huh? Heheh...

Thanks muchly to CM for the link.

Just When You Thought It Was All Over...

Well, you know how I was far too… erm… you know… nice... to post some of the more intimate details from Carol Lynne’s Yahoo list on here? Well, somebody out there obviously doesn’t have the same internal conflict as I did.

Nice huh?

I loved this bit from a letter that Raelene Whatsherface from EC, sent to Carol:

"IGNORE THE NASTY BLOG! Honestly, that's the best advice I can give. Be assured that we know how much of those posts are untrue.


You've been a great success with your very first book. Jealous and petty people - unsuccessful or less-successful writers - resent that and try to bring you down in order to make themselves feel better".

I’m wondering which bits were untrue exactly? The bits where I implied that Carol Lynne’s book stunk like two day old fish?

This bit was also fascinating:

"Your first book sold four times what an average EC new release sells, especially one by a new, unknown author. That is outstanding.


We've had only a couple of authors who've started out with such a bang. The second book looks like it will also do amazingly well. Believe me, that little group of bitches on the blog does not represent our reader market - the sales speak for themselves."

How stupid is this woman? How does she not know that the only reason Carol Lynne’s book sold so well was due to the kerfuffle that resulted from my review?

I wonder who she’s referring to as ‘little bitches’? I think she means you too Jane.

As for not representing their reader market, well I’m flabbergasted. I’ve spent literally thousands of pounds at EC in the past few years, surely that makes me a loyal reader?

Anyway, this bit tells me how much Carol Lynne really owes me for making her infamous famous:

"You get to laugh all the way to the bank. Honey, your royalties for the year are going to exceed my annual salary by far. And sales like that generate the profit that enables EC to pay my salary".

And she didn’t even have the grace to thank me.

Anyway, if you want to read the rest, you’ll have to bob over to Der Schadenfreude’s blog, cuz my adorable nephew’s about to wake up in a bad mood…

Oh Carol, Carol, Carol, After Everything I Did For You Too…

You guys remember her, right? Course you do, she was hot topic round Blogland for two days or so.

You know what they say about eavesdroppers never hearing any good of themselves, and how re-posting things online is kinda, well you know... passe?

Well, since I have no moral compass, to speak of, let me share this little Yahoo List conversation with you…

“I just don't feel like doing anything today. So far, I think I've only written about…

I keep telling myself I need to work on this book for Helen but there just any motivation to get it done. I'm not even sure if/when they will contract it because it will most likely go into '09.

On the other hand, even though I know I won't get a tenth of the money from Total E Bound, it's nice to be able to write a book and very quickly see the fruits of your labor.

Maybe I'm just in a funk today. Saw an interesting article on Karen's blog this morning. Complaining about Feels So Right and the Quickie by Barb sherridan and Anne Cain being the same story.

Of course she admitted that she hadn't read either one, but the blurbs both had the brother of the bride falling for the father of the groom.

It's not like we got together and planned it. I'm sure that if you took all the Naughty Nuptial Quickies and put them side by side, a lot of them would have the same combination of players.

But because Karen has a hard-on for me, this is the one that gets the attention. I feel like writing Anne and Barb a note appologizing for bringing them into Karen's little hateful world.”
Carol Lynne

“Who the fuck is this Karen bitch anyway? Is she reviewer? Another publisher? What's her deal?”
Christine Allen-Riley

“Wait a sec...is she the Dear Author hag?”
Christine Allen Riley

Re: Blagh!

“Karen is the blogger bitch from London who first started the carnage over Ben's book. Since then she mentions my name every time she can.
I probably brought more bloggers to her site than anyone else. She also hates, hates, Jaid/Tina.

http://karenknowsbest.blogspot.com/

I keep thinking if I don't respond in any way it will all just go away, but apparently Karen doesn't want that. She likes the attention I believe.”
Carol Lynne


“Only 1200. Gee Carol, I wish I could do that many.

What a jerk Karen aqpparently is. I liked Feels So Right, btw. And the two aren't even close to being the same book. Of course she'd know that if she'd read them.

I mean what about tentacles of love. The groom is trying to hide something in that one. In Heather Holland's Desperate [something] the guy... hiding something. Wedding Jitters the heroine is trying to hide something.

All plot points. Additionally, when dealing with a wedding, there are only so many stock characters to deal with. With readership looking toward a little bit older characters, it stands to reason that a parent might come into play. With as many Nuptial books as their doing, it also stands to reason that there will be cross over plot points.

Karen needs to get over herself and take and enema”

Web
Michele w/a Brynn Paulin

“Yeah, it's also why I'll never do another themed Quickie. I'm sure someone will also have a M/M werewolf quickie out at Halloween and I'll hear the same thing all over again.”
Carol Lynne

“I'm just really depressed today. When I read other books, they just don't read like mine. I used to think maybe I just had a different style, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'm too close to them, but mine seem to read rather simple in nature. Maybe it's because I'm a story teller and not a story weaver. Who knows.

I can tell the mechanics of my writing are improving, but I think that's not the only problem. I'll know more when the new stories come out next month from the other publisher. Those are written with a different editor/beta, and they include the new mechanical skills I've learned so far.

If they are well received it will make me feel a little better. I'm also really worried about any nasty reviews I may get when Finnegan's Promise comes out. Maybe writing something so personal isn't such a good idea. That book is way too meaningful to me to let anyone rip it to shreds. I can be the strong, silent author for only so long before I decide to fight back, whether it hurts my career or not.”
Carol
Carol Lynne

Carol, how many people knew your name before I reviewed your book honey? I give you all that gooey free publicity, and this is how you repay me?

Some people are soooo ungrateful…

Seriously, don’t feel bad , I totally get your anger, and know that I don’t hate you for it. I hated your book, not you, but I guess you feel they’re one and the same huh? Sorry I totally trashed your book, and made you feel bad, depressed even, by all accounts, but look on the bright side, at least you got my money, which means you had the last laugh right?

By the way Carol, you know there were much worse stuff in there that I didn't post right? You know why I never posted them? Because that would have just been plain 'ole mean, plus they had nothing to do with me. Better go and hide those posts quickly now, you never know, how many of your peers will be reading them...

Oh yeah, and you can slag people off as much as you want, God knows, everybody does it, but for the love of God, lock your goddamn posts, so that they aren't accessible to all and sundry.

Spot The Difference...

Blurb from the EC site:

Naughty Nuptials - I Do By Barbara Sheridan , Anne Cain
Accountant Randy Ohara has been alone and lonely since the death of his first and only lover. While in New York to attend his sister's wedding he develops an instant and strong attraction to an unknown man at a Manhattan nightclub. The desire he feels is surprisingly intense, making Randy realize he's never wanted another man with such passion before.

It's even more of a surprise when Randy learns that the stranger he lusts for is none other than Jason Chen, the groom's widowed father. Randy doesn't dare make a move on the sexy older man, until the handsome detective reveals a few secrets of his own.





Naughty Nuptials - Feels So Right By Carol Lynne
On his eighteenth birthday, Austin Green's father kicked him out of the house for his sexual preferences. Now, all grown up, Austin returns home to attend his sister's wedding.

The evening of the rehearsal dinner, Austin meets the man of his dreams. Tony Rumalati looks to be the perfect man. There's just one problem. He's also his soon-to-be brother-in-law's father.

Although Tony's been divorced for most of his son's life, he has yet to find Mr. Right. That may change when he steps into the elevator with Austin. Can these two men survive a weekend of lust, love and bigotry?

Now I know there's a dearth of original plot devices, and I know that they are part of the same series, but seriously, both heroes get the hots for the groom's father? Okaaay then...

Thanks to Goddess Grrl for sending me the links!

And Then The Scales Fell From My Eyes...

I wrote this rambling Ode to Jaid Black back back in August 2005, when I obviously didn't know any better. I considered deleting it, following her reaction to my EC posts, but then I thought, why the hell should I? It serves to remind me that I'm not always right about people.

It also serves to remind me that most authors will always be happy to be your friend, and laugh at you dissing other people, as long as it's not them or their company that you're taking the piss out of. Lesson learned.

"I’ve just realised how much I admire Tina Engler AKA Jaid Black, the legendary 'Queen of Steam'.

How could anybody fail to admire a woman who has achieved as much as she has, when she had so little to begin with?

Here are some facts about Tina that some of you may, or may not have known.

1.Tina is the owner and founder of Elloras Cave, Cerridwen Press, and the newly launched Lady Jaided Magazine.

2.As well as having over twenty books with EC, she also has novels with Berkley/Jove and Pocketbooks.

3.In addition to her publishing background, Tina also has controlling shares in the following companies:

Jasmine-Jade Enterprises,
Gothic Grounds (a coffee store chain),
Brannon-Engler Properties
Awbridge, Hanwell, & Hartley books and curio shops


4.By the age of thirty, she was a self-made millionaire. Two years later, she was a multi-millionaire.

5.She was recently on the Montel Williams Show, talking about her rise to the top.

6.She also donated $10,000 to the Montel Williams Multiple Sclerosis Foundation, and EC are currently donating 15 cents to the charity for every book that is sold via their Ebay Store.

The reason that I admire Tina so much, is because she literally built her empire up from scratch.

She got pregnant at the age of seventeen, and was forced to raise her baby alone when the father of her child abandoned them both. She was on welfare for a number of years, but somehow managed to put herself through college, and worked towards a better life for herself and her child.

Not only was she on welfare, and let’s face it, there is a lot of snobbery towards single mothers who live off the state, but her children are bi-racial, and I recall reading a piece that she wrote, about the racism that her children had to endure, because of this very fact.

In my opinion, she has helped change the way that people look at the romance genre. She dared to push the envelope, and by doing so, opened up a brand new world to romance readers who were just a little bored by the same old, same old.

I admire the fact that she was forward-thinking enough to realise that as Millennium women, some of us are looking for more than virginal heroines with ‘perking nipples’ and dastardly heroes with ‘throbbing members’.

Never mind the romance v erotic romance catfights that seem to happen in blogland on a daily basis, the fact is, without Tina’s influence, we probably woudn’t even be having the debate in the first place.

Personally, I view Tina as a pioneer. She may not have invented electricity, or found the cure for the common cold, but she exemplifies the determination and the self-sacrifice that is necessary in order to reach beyond one’s wildest dreams, regardless of the obstacles that are placed in one’s path.

Tina's lead a very interesting life so far, and I know that if she ever decided to detail her memoirs in the form of an autobiography, I would certainly go out and buy the book."

Oh the irony. What can I say? I meant every word I wrote at the time. Every word. How things change eh? *g*

No Barbara, I Wont Be Reading That Book...

Barbara B made this comment on the previous post:

BTW Karen, your girl Carol Lynne has a new book, Feels So Right, at Ellora's Cave. It's a gay romance quickie. You gonna take one for the team again and review this sucker for us? *big grin*

Erm, the answer to that is HELL NO.

I just read SarahF’s review of Carol Lynne’s latest book, and it would seem that it’s basically the same pornographic crap that Ben’s Wildflower was.

Erm, Lora Leigh review coming up at some point tomorrow, right now, I'm off to watch Beyonce in concert.

Just In Case You Thought There Were No More Good Books Left At Elloras Cave...

Little Known Favourites Meme...

The Rules:

List and describe 3 of your favourite books that other people may not be familiar with, then tag five people to do the same.

I got tagged by Elizabeth.

I usually avoid these things like the plague, but what the hell…

Incidentally, seeing as e-book publishers have been going through a difficult period just lately, I thought I’d highlight some of my fave e-books, that maybe aren’t as well known, as others.




First up, is Kathy Allred’s, The Sweet Gum Tree

People, this book is wonderful, wonderful, and wonderful. Allred is such a talented author, she really is. Anyway, here’s the blurb:

Sweet tea, corn bread, and soup beans—everyday fare for eight-year-old Alix French, the precocious darling of a respected southern family. But nothing was ordinary about the day she met ten-year-old Nick Anderson, a boy from the wrong side of town. Armed with only a tin of bee balm and steely determination, Alix treats the raw evidence of a recent beating that mars his back, an act that changes both of their lives forever.


Through childhood disasters and teenage woes they cling together as friendship turns to love. The future looks rosy until the fateful night when Frank Anderson, Nick's abusive father, is shot to death in his filthy trailer.


Suddenly, Nick is gone—leaving Alix alone, confused and pregnant. For the next fifteen years she wrestles with the pain of Nick's abandonment, a bad marriage, her family and friends. But finally, she's starting to get her life back together. Her divorce is almost final, her business is booming, and she's content if not happy -- until the day she looks up and sees Nick standing across the counter. He's back…and he's not alone.


Once again Alix is plunged into turmoil and pain as Nick tries to win her love, something she resists with all her strength. Only one thing might break the protective wall she's built around her emotions—the truth about Frank Anderson's death. But when that truth comes out and those walls crumble, neither Alix nor Nick is prepared for the emotional explosion that could destroy as well as heal

This was one of those books that was very hard for me to put down once I started reading it, so I didn’t. Put it down, I mean.

Fabulous characterisations, fantastic setting, great plot, finely woven story, and flawless prose. I’d recommend this book to anybody. You can find my original gushing review here.



Shiloh Walker’s, Her Best Friend’s Lover

Basically, this is a friends-to-lovers book (my favourite plot device).

Lauren’s been in love with playboy Dale for about ten million years, but he just sees her as a friend… until one night when he gets completely pie-eyed, after learning that the ‘love of his life’ is expecting another baby with her hubby.

Anyway, he gets drunk, seduces Lauren, and totally forgets about the fact that he shagged her, the next day. Don’t worry folks, this is a romance, of course it ends happily ever after.

I liked this book because A, I loved the theme, and B, I loved the characters. I Really liked Lauren, and even Dale wasn’t such an arsehole, ya know? What more could one ask for?




My third book choice would be Ruby Storm’s Twilight Kisses.

This is a time travel erotic romance, by one of my fave EC authors.

I can’t be arsed putting my own spin on it, so here’s the blurb from EC:

Most women spend a lifetime in search of one extraordinary love. The average woman will never experience the magic touch of a man who sends a hotbed of molten lava racing through her veins. She will never know the beauty of embracing that one special person who knows her every thought, who has loved her enough to wait his entire life for her to appear…


As a young Sioux brave seeking his vision, Moon Runner discovers that only one woman, his Ghost Woman, will bring his life full circle. He believes…and he awaits his destiny, never envisioning that she will come to him from years in the future.


After stumbling upon a photograph of a mighty Sioux warrior captured in 1884, Shannon Dunne is driven to discover why this shadowy figure calls out to her soul. She journeys to the Black Hills of South Dakota. There she discovers a love powerful enough to send her back in time, and into Moon Runner's tender embrace.


But Shannon has seen the past from the future, in the form of a hangman's noose…


They are lovers from two different worlds, unable to escape their past or their future. They must rely on that extraordinary love to be enough to keep them together always, to reshape destiny, to remain in one another's arms for all time.


Only fate can decide…

I loved this book. I really did. It felt like an epic Gone-With-The-Wind kinda romance, but I didn’t intensely dislike the heroine, and the hero didn’t make me want to barf. I loved the characters, and I thought that the author did a fantastic job, with what could have easily been a total snoozefest. The love story was compelling, and it wasn’t all about spilling enough sex liquids to rival Vesuvius. That’s always a bonus surely?




My fourth choice (yes I know I’m only supposed to choose three) is Ashleigh Raine’s, Lover’s Talisman.

I used to be a Shadow Walkers Groupie, and to this day, I’m still gutted that EC stupidly decided not to let Jen and Lisa finish this series with them. Bastards. Their loss.

Anyway, here’s the blurb, from their website, seeing as I can’t find the books on the EC site anymore.

Fighting demons and protecting those in harm's way don’t faze a man used to danger. That's life as normal for Stephan Rashleigh. Until Mariah. It should've been easy--rescue her, then let her go. But he wants her, more than he’s ever wanted anyone. Vibrant, breathing life into him, she makes him feel again. He'll do anything to keep her by his side...in his bed...in his life.


Mariah never wanted to fall in love. Lust she can deal with--and around Stephan, her hormones are on serious erotic overdrive. But even she can't deny that there's more between them than an explosive romp between the sheets, against the wall, and everywhere in between.


When Mariah's best friend is kidnapped, a sinister evil is revealed—someone who's been watching, waiting for Stephan to find his destined love. Now there's more at stake than Stephan's heart. Their very lives, the lives of the rest of the Talisman Bay Shadow Walkers, are placed in jeopardy. But nothing can keep these two lovers apart. No matter how wicked the adversary, eternal love never loses.


Welcome to Talisman Bay. Where all hell breaks loose on a daily basis...especially when you fall in love.

I’m sure you will have noticed that this is a paranormal, yes? Well years ago, before the paranormal craze went into overdrive, I used to enjoy them, but alas, like everything else in romance, the bandwagon got overfull, and I got bored.

I loved the Talisman Bay series, because the writers, Jen and Lisa, created this wonderful world that drew you in, and they wrote about these wonderful characters who felt like friends. Corny I know, but seriously guys, that’s how I used to feel reading these books. Loved them.

OK, so who shall I tag? Hmmmm… Sod it, everybody who reads this post is tagged.

Ciao for now!

I’m Thinking That This Cover Would Definitely Fail RWA’s Graphical Standards…(Do They Still Exist?)

I wonder which is Anchor, and which is Storm? *g*


But it certainly caught my eye. I’ve mostly gone right off menage books now, but I really liked the premise of this one.

Edgar Armstrong, Earl of Callander, had not given much thought to marrying and producing an heir…until he meets Emily Sinclair. When their easy companionship grows into love, they learn that Edgar's progressively debilitating disease could be passed on to his children. As their joy turns to despair Edgar finds a solution. If he can't get her with child he knows just the man who can. But will Emily agree to his plan?


Angus MacNeill, Lord Callander's groom, thinks Emily married Edgar for his title, his money and the security he can give her. And when Edgar approaches him with a very unusual request Angus questions his master's motives. Still, it doesn't stop him from accepting Callander's terms — it's the only way he can be with Emily, even if only until she conceives.


Deeply in love with Edgar, Emily will do anything he asks of her. But she never suspected he'd ask something like this! Despite Edgar's reassurances she worries that his plan could destroy their marriage rather than strengthen it. And when she makes her choice, Emily wonders if there's room enough for two men in her heart — and in her bed.

I have a certain affection for historical erotic romance, I think it’s the thought of such naughty goings ons, during these notoriously repressive time periods.

You can buy Anchor and Storm from Elloras Cave. Now let’s hope there aren't any effing whips, chains, or nipple clamps involved.

What The Hell Is Up With Elloras Cave These Days?

Has anybody else noticed that EC’s authors seem to have become One-Book-Wonder specialists?

When I first discovered EC, authors like Lora Leigh, Jaci Burton, Shiloh Walker used to have books out constantly. But for some reason that’s changed. As far as I can gather, the only ‘original’ EC author who seems to churn out lots of books for them still is Lorie O’Clare.

The new authors seem to write one book, then we never hear from them again. I wonder why this is? I wonder if like me, many previous EC faithfuls aren’t buying them?

I’ll read anybody as long as the blurb sounds interesting, but for some reason, the blurbs at EC just do not inspire me to go buy. It never used to be like that.

On the other hand, I’m buying more books from Liquid Silver Books, and Samhain. At least they’re not over-egging the whole BDSM thing. Have I told anybody lately how much I hate BDSM books? Well I do. They suck in the worst way.

It would be interesting to know if the profits at EC have been in decline this past year. With so many new authors who only seem to write one book before disappearing into EC’s Great Hole, surely that must tell its own story? After all, if they were selling, then surely they’d be writing more books for them?

I have tried the new authors, but most of the newbies that I’ve read, have sucked in a big way, so I’m less eager to try them in the future.

It seems to me that the NY publishers have lured away the cream of crop, and just left the dross.

By the way EC, the website needs a major facelift. I’ve always hated that shitty mustard colour anyway, but three years of looking at the same ‘ole crappy design is just a bit much.

Samhain’s website looks better in comparison, as does LSB’s.

It’s about time you guys made some improvements. Seriously.

Oh yeah, and stop accepting so many BDSM books for fuck’s sake.