Thursday, August 31, 2006

Public Transportation Sucks Great Big Hairy Donkey Balls...

Why do people feel the need to talk loudly on public transport?

Did I really need to know that your last boyfriend was crap in bed, and that you can't cook worth a damn?

Why do these same imbeciles insist on having a three hour phone conversation on their cell phones? Loudly?

Did I really need to know what you're doing on Friday night, and who you're doing it with?

Why do other people insist on having a groping session in a public place? Get a fucking room, for fucks sake.

Right, I'm off to bed, I've had the day from hell, and I need a stiff drink.

Monday, August 28, 2006

I Buy New... Do You?

With the demise of the Harlequin Bombshell line, many authors are suggesting that readers start buying new, rather than used, to stop other lines from being discontinued.

Personally, it’s been well over a year since I bought a book that wasn’t new. I’ve calculated that I buy an average of seven books a week, at an average price of £6.99 ($12.60) per book. Now work this out over a full year, and that means that I’ve spent over £2,544 ($4,579) in the past year. But I have to say, I didn’t feel inclined to even look at Bombshell books, so my pennies certainly wouldn’t have helped save the line.

I think Bombshell’s demise had less to do with readers buying used books, and more to do with ineffective marketing, and a premise that didn’t appeal universally to romance readers, after all, why go to Harlequin to read a non-romance book, when there are far better choices out there? Incidentally, since Evelyn Vaughn’s
A.K.A Goddess, I haven’t heard of anybody raving over any other Bombshell book.

Personally, I think that Harlequin’s attempt to garner a younger and hipper audience, was bound to be at the cost of die-hard older Harlequin fans.
I’ve been reading Harlequin since I was 14, and I know that I probably wouldn’t have picked up a Bombshell book based on the fact that it wasn’t a romance. I do read non-romance books, but just as I don’t go to my doctor for a tooth complaint, I don’t go to Harlequin for non-romance books.

So how many of you guys tried the line? In fact, how many of you still buy series romance books period?

So We Looked At The Houses...

So we looked at the houses yesterday. I've got some accompanying photo's for each house.

Verdict: Didn't like at all. All fur and no knickers. Ugly Kitchen.

Verdict: Not bad, rooms too small, nice back garden.

Verdict: Smaller than it looks, liked the fact it was vacant.

Verdict: Hated the decor, loved the backyard,but too high maintenance. bathroom too small.

Overall, all ok houses, but they flattered to deceive. The 3rd house was the best, but not 'the' one.

So the house search continues...

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Houses Scheduled To Be Viewed Tomorrow....

House 1

House 2

House 3


These houses look promising, will be looking at them tomorrow. Which house do you guys like the look of best? I'll let you know what we think later this week.

Ode To The Hoff...

I used to have the hots for David Hasselhoff when he was in Knightrider. I thought that he had nice hair. What can I say, I was easily pleased. There's just something about a man who has a car that talks...

Do you guys realise how big The Hoff is, in Europe? Apparently Germans think he's the bees knees, so in celebration of all things Hoff, I've posted a few of my fave photos.

Isn't he the gayest looking man ever? Yet I still love him dearly. Do I need therapy for that?

Steroids Are Us... Book Cover Suckage...

If I saw this guy coming towards me, I'd probably run in the opposite direction. I think he ought to see the doctor about that swelling on his leg. *Shudder*.

Nice abs, scary manboobs.

I bet she could crack a walnut between her arse cheeks...

Thanks to Michelle for bringing these to my attention *g*

Friday, August 25, 2006

Authors Behaving Badly Part 2099?

Apparently, author, Sara Donati/Rosina Lippi got called a hack by a Diana Gabaldon fan, on Gabaldon’s Yahoo group.

She didn’t like it, and more or less said so on her blog, whilst trying to pretend she didn’t really care.

She started like this

My question is, why go public at all? It was on a Yahoo group, which is only accessible to people who subscribe to that group. Also it was a discussion between readers, so why waste the energy it takes to take offence?

Anyway, for a more comprehensive report, go read
Jane’s take on it. The Tall Guy and I are going out now, so ciao!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Will The Viral Blogging Experiment Work?

You know, I’m not usually one for participating in promo’s and competitions etc, cuz usually I can’t be arsed, but Dear Author’s viral blogging experiment seemed like a good idea. Diana Peterfreund however, isn’t so sure.

She writes:

Now, I understand what she’s saying, but the main difference for me is that the Dear Author girls aren’t authors, they are mere readers conducting an experiment. They have nothing to gain by it, but Nalini Singh’s name will at least become better known. Will the experiment land her on any of the best seller lists? I have my doubts, but at least now, more people will know who she is, and if they come across her books in the future, then it stands to reason that they will probably take a second look.

Today was a perfect example actually. I wasn’t familiar with author,
Sabrina Jeffries, until I saw her name mentioned on Sybil’s blog a couple of million times, but whilst I was in Borders this evening, I came across some of her books, and because she is now a familiar name to me, I picked up A Dangerous Love, After The Abduction, The Forbidden Lord, and In The Prince’s Bed. Sybil, if these suck GBHDB, I’ll come looking for you.

As a reader, I hate hype, can’t stand it in fact, but because this seems slightly more scientific, I’m more than willing to participate. Another big plus for me personally, is that the hype isn’t author driven.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Slave To Sensation, By Nalini Singh: A Blogging Experiment…

{Please Note: All New Posts Can Be Found Beneath This One, Just For This Week}

Jane wants to see if bloggers can have an affect on the real world market for this book, so bloggers unite, and participate!

I am participating in a blogging experiment hosted at
Dear Author.Com. To enter the contest, put up this blurb, image, and trackback and you are entered to win the following prize package.

*$200 Amazon gift certificate
*Signed copy of Slave to Sensation
*New Zealand goodies chosen by Singh
*ARC of Christine Feehan’s October 31 release:
Conspiracy Game

You can read about the experiment here and you can download the code that you need to participate here.

Nalini Singh
Berkley / September 2006


What Does Your First Name Really Mean...?

These interpretations tickled me pink, Karen apparently means,"Huge tits, shags like a rabbit." heheh, go look yours up!

Abby - agony aunt, always willing to explain about your confused sexuallity.
Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Adie - quiet and shy, but when you get to know her .. quiet and shy.
Adrianna - eats like a horse yet incredibly scrawny, her girlfriends all hate her.
Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs.
Alana - pretty and popular, but with very dark secrets.
Alexandra - popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
Alice - likes horses but looks like Kermit's girlfriend.
Alicia - pretty and knows it, watches herslf go by in shop windows.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Alyssa - wants to be 'exotic', but only manages to be 'strange'.
Amanda - I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good shag, but she does practice a lot.
Amber - stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
Amelia - A bit old fashioned, but still a goer.
Anastasia - overly-loud, with delusions of grandeur.
Andrea - Small breasts, small arse, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
Andrina - dark and sultry, pretends she's a Russian spy.
Angel - face like an angel, mouth like the biker-girl from hell.
Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
Anita - Beautiful girl with perfect hair and a body to die for.
Ann - bone idle, can't be arsed to put an 'e' at the end of her name.
Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.

Anneka - Sporty type, in and out of the bedroom.
Annette - She's BIG, like really BIG!!.
Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
Anne-Marie - Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly formed breasts
Annie - Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
Ashlee - Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
Aurora - Beautiful and sexy, every mans dream ,but sadly swings the other way.
Azaria - Beautiful and exotic with the brain power of an orchid.
Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears alot of make up
Bea - Beautiful, sexy, original, but nearly impossible to satisfy in bed.
Becky - one of the boys, knows all about football and cars, quite tall.
Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.
Beth - Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
Bettina - Dominatrix.
Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - Ginger. big mouth.
Birgit - big scarey woman, likes small blokes she can intimidate.
Brenda - Big hearted, in fact big everything-ed.
Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
Cait - Bow-legged country girl, really loves her horses.
Callie - Dresses strangely, has psychopathic tendencies.
Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Cara - lazy girl, eats too much junk-food and yet doesn't get fat - annoying.
Carie - just like the movie, a scary freak.
Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
Carla - Down to earth with good child-bearing hips.
Carly - Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
Carol - Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
Cassy - Giggles too much, bit of an air-head.
Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Chaz - life and soul of the party, plays the piano and then strips to her own music.
Chelsie - upmarket chav, says; "no right, I say right, etc"
Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Chloe - Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
Christina - Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
Ciji - strange girl, sleeps with a vibrating teddy-bear.
Claire / Clare / Clair - Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
Caoilionn - looks good and talks dirty.
Corinne - Insanely curious about everybody and everything.
Courtney - Bit of a 'tomboy', rolls her own tampons.
Daisy - Virgin, works on a farm because she likes the way the tractor vibrates.
Danni - Always happy to make up a nice three-some, often brings her sister.
Danielle - Stunningly attractive, yet has a tendency to self-destruct.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
Debra - Wannabe porn star
Debby - Experienced porn star.
Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
Dee - Enormous mouth, gets a lot of work in porn movies.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no-one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
Di - Enjoys receiving oral sex, but doesn't like giving it.
Diana - Cuddly, which is a shame because she smells like cheese.
Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
Dina - Always cheerful, wants everyone else to be as happy as she is.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Dorthe - smells of herrings, obsessed with over-sized sex toys.
Edith - dresses down, but mighty hot beneath.
Eileen - terrible flirt and yet shy deep down.
Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths and likes sharp edges.
Eleanor - Very posh, always washing her hands, but likes her sex dirty.
Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ella - Fiery temper, but when she's not shouting she's as cute as a kitten,
Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Ellen - Could well have eaten all the pies.
Elma - Shy, easily dominated by men.
Elsa - Kind of old fashioned, but with beautiful big hair.
Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Erminia - Small and graceful, slightly psychotic.
Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Eve - Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
Evonne - Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Fae - Small and pretty, her mind seems always elsewhere.
Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.
Fee - Not very bright, talks fast to make up for it.
Felicity - One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
Fern - Posh with a large mouth, can hold a conversation whilst giving head.
Fiona - Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
Fiyza - Very sexy, she knows it and she flaunts it
Florence - pretty, but sometimes too nice .. people tend to take advantage of her.
Francesca - Likes horses, not too fond of blokes.
Francess - A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
Frankie - Wears leather underwear, if it's quiet you can hear her buzzing.
Gabriel - An arse to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gaynor - Wanna-be Lesbian who can't pull the girls.
Gemma - Talks too much, even during sex, even during oral sex!
Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.
Georgia - Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
Georgina - Wants to be a man.
Grace - petite and pretty, fucks like a rabbit.
Grainne - Giggles excessively, sometimes wets herself.
Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Harriet - Wears tweed and green wellies to the pub.
Hayley - Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
Hazel - has piercings, wears black.
Heather - Shags like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
Helen - Hangs around with the wrong rowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
Helena - Likes to be in charge, wears a lot of black rubber.
Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins, hates Nazis.
Hilary - Frigid.
Holly - very sexy, doesn't take any crap from anyone.
Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Iona - always carries a plastic carrier bag containing a bottle of strong cider.
Isabel - Pretty lady who likes to be dominated, needs a man, any man.
Isobel - Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.
Jade - I once had a Jade, but hasn't everybody??
Jalaine - Strange, introverted girl, secretly into plastic model aeroplanes.
Jamie - Gentle and yet with a very scary temper.
Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.
Jane - She's hot and she knows it, a prick-teaser.
Janice - Loud and over-the-top, tends to talk with her hands.
Janine - Always takes on the 'mother role' when in a group.
Jarla - Kinda like a female Ali-G only not as funny.
Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jean - hangs around with old blokes and let's them buy her stuff.
Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jen - accident prone, especially around men she fancies.
Jenni - bone idle hence the tendency to shorten long words.
Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jeri - only owns one pair of knickers and they've never been worn.
Jessica - Always shags on the first date and sometimes even before it.
Jo - Bisexual and proud of it.
Joanna - Moans in her sleep, moans when she wakes up, can't cook.
Joelle - Lively, exciting, jolly and fun ... sometimes too much so!
Josephine - Likes to be tied up and teased.
Jodie - pretty and clever, therefor a bitch
Jody - Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
Jordon - Wears a lot of make-up, nobody knows what she looks like.
Joyce - Never stops talking ... for God's sake shut up woman!
Judith - Big eyes, big tits, big problem with ballance.
Judy - Huge tits, married to a retard.
Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes
Juliet - Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy arse.
Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
Kacie - cute and adorable, but prone to sulking.
Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Karly - not too bright but always means well, pretty in a tubby way.
Kate - kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
Katherine - old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
Kathryn - life and soul of any party until she falls asleep an hour before the end.
Katey - Tom boy, likes her sex dirty, usually outdoors.
Katie - likes blokes and team sports, preferably both together.
Kayleigh - The Lara Croft of Essex, great in bed (practice makes perfect)
Keira - person most likely to start a cult, related to Starlin.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kelley - not very bright, can't spell Kelly.
Kelsey - Very clever, wears glasses, boys scare her.
Kerran - tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
Kerry - pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
Kiersten - very sexy to look at, hard to please in bed.
Kim - small and sexy, only into pretty boys.
Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke and swears loudly.
Kira - She's very very hot, so it's a shame about the lobotomy.
Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
Krista - Cool and pretty, tends to daydream all day and sleepwalk all night.
Kristy - Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
Kristen - Emotionally stunted, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
Kylie - Can't sing but who cares ... lovely arse.
Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara - Fun loving girl, but doesn't find time for blokes..
Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive. Dominatrix
Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Leanne - Eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
Leaine - Seems cute until she opens her mouth and starts swearing.
Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
Leonie - Tall girl who likes short boys, it's a power thing.
Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.
Leyla - Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
Lily - Makes a good friend, doesn't take crap from anyone.
Linda - Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - enjoys money and is only turned on whilst watching porn.
Liz - Long legged and brainy.
Lizbeth - Sensible and serious, can talk without moving her lips.
Lois - Just wants to be loved but everyone seems to want to over-protect her.
Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
Lorrie - Named after the vehicle she weighs the same as.
Louise/a - Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
Luci - cute and loveable
Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Lyndsey - wears 2 pairs of knickers, won't undress with the lights on.
Lynn - Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
Lynnette - Has the attention span of a budgerigar, likes pretty things.
Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Madusa - Really likes men, preferrably grilled with a side salad.
Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
Mairi - Quiet and shy but incredibly clever, secretly planning to take over the world.
Mandy - Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marion - stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martha - enjoys cooking, a shame it's always inedible.
Martina - Ugly lesbian.
Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Mary - Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
Mavis - seems nice until you notice the black cat, broomstick and pointed hat.
Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
Meghan - Cold, hard-hearted bitch, enjoys upsetting little children.
Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melinda - Trailer trash ... pretty, plump, and infected.
Melissa - Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Mercedes - pretends to be posh yet enjoys sleeping around.
Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Mia - Cute, small, sexy, but mostly just annoying.
Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Mikayla - Petite and shy, doesn't realise how pretty she is.
Marsha - Big butt, small brain.
Molly - Pretty and naive, would like to be slimmer, wears clothes with too many flowers.
Monica - Control freak, but very pretty so we'll let her off.
Monique - cool, calm, collected and probably drunk.
Morven - Very very loud and doesn't see to realise it.
Nadine - Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don't mess with her.
Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - White hair, pays for her real ale in old money.
Narelle - Likes dressing up as a French maid but not French.
Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nephie - Pretty, smiles a lot, not very bright.
Niamh - Quiet and cute, secretly wears mens under-wear.
Nicci - Pretty, blonde, nicely dressed and vacant.
Nichola - quiet, studious type, wears glasses, a tiger in bed.
Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nicole - small sweet and with nice hair, should wear underwear more often.
Niki - wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
Nikki - wannabe lap-dancer but got no rythm.
Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Nissa - speach impediment causes her to hiss, fond of reptiles.
Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.
Olive - usually accompanied by a couple of people in white coats.
Olivia - Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
Olwyn - stupid name, welsh, just unlucky I guess.
Paige - Normally much too serious, but giggles a lot in bed.
Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Patricia - Obsessive about appearances, yet denies that she's shallow.
Pat - short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Peggy - Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
Peta - Rough and tough, seriously into bondage.
Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Phyliss - Thinks sex is dirty, always washing her hands.
Polly - nice girl with really bad dress-sense, fashion disaster, it's a shame.
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Preya - can't cook or clean but good in bed.
Prudence - sensible girl, wears flat shoes, but will shag anything in trousers.
Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rebekah - Not very bright, pretty, but sometimes forgets to bathe.
Robbie - Fun loving tom-boy with a cheeky smile.
Roberta - Takes herself much too seriously, could be a fun loving tom-boy.
Renee - Huge breasts, but wishes blokes would notice her mind.
Rhiannon - big and strong, prone to vilence.
Riza - clever and funny, makes some blokes feel threatened.
Romany - Wild and beautiful, swings both ways.
Rosalind - Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
Rose - Can be prickly, gives good head.
Rosemary - Very shy, nearly always seen with a bright red face.
Roz - Only enjoys sex when she's tied up and spanked first.
Rula - She measures up well.
Ruth - Has stretch marks around her mouth.
Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
Sammy - likes to be the centre of attention, clumsy.
Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sara - Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.
Sarah-Jane - 'posh' girl, will screw anything in a BMW.
Sasha - dresses like a bloke, screws like a rabbit.
Scarlett - stunnngly beautiful and with a temper like a nuclear explosion.
Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Shannon - Beautiful, curvaceous, should be a model.
Sharon - The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Shauna - Lives in a trailer, has 16 kids each with a different surname.
Shelly - very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
Sheree - Cute, but very loud! desperately needs a volume control.
Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Shona - Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
Siobhan - Ginger Minger with a severe wind problem.
Sinead - Wears big knickers and a vest, but is secretly very sexual.
Sian - Does great sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Silka - Appears shy, but secretly Miss Whiplash the dominatrix.
Silke - Only ever has sex outdoors near her favourite tree.
Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.
Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier".
Sophia - Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her arse is the size of a small country.
Sophie - Brothel manager because she's too ugly to be a working girl.
Stacey - Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
Stella - reassuringly expensive, she's worth every penny!
Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
Summer - wears flowers in her hair, a pretty dress, and no knickers.
Sylvia - loves the outdoors. Mad.
Tammy - Kind-hearted and generous, particularly in the bedroom.
Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
Tara - Upper class slapper, enjoys random chemicals.
Teresa - surprisingly small given the amount of alcohol she drinks.
Teri - fun and flirty, sometimes annoyingly bouncy!
Tiffany - likes short skirts and low tops, spends a lot of time in front of a mirror.
Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Tracey - Wears a lot of pink, wants to be a lesbian cos she thinks that would be cool.
Trudy - Genuinely nice lady, everybody loves her.
Ursula - Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
Val - usually drunk, doesn't know where her knickers are.
Valerie - quaint and old-fashioned, someones aunt.
Vanessa - Beautiful, power-crazy bitch.
Vera - favouritr Aunty, smellsfaintly of lavender.
Veronica - closet lesbian who sleeps around to prove she isn't!
Vicky - Likes Yoga. And Women.
Victoria - everybody loves her but not as much as she loves herself.
Vikki - Drinks anything so long as it's got vodka in it.
Wendy - works on a building site, possibly a man.
Yasmin - Talks loud and fast, thinks she's gorgeous.
Yvette - slightly timid, until she loses her temper and then watch out.
Yvonne - control freak and yet crap at everything she does.
Zakia - Wants to be a spy when she grows up, but needs to wash more often.
Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.

Men's Names

Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
Amir - Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.
Andy - boring and has a small pecker.
Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.
Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.
Arnold - loser.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just a naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a week.
Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
Cameron - Australian
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no real person has that name.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
Cyril - well, Cyril.
Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates
David - total wanker - hated by all.
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter - i.e. a wanker.
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - dickhead.
Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
Drew - bad-arse losers who never shuts up.
Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.
Emrys - Load mouth gobby Shitte.
Elliott - Full of himself
Eric - shy.
Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth
Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex
Graham - will screw anything
Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Guy - Covers his back, has a small dick.
Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young girls.
Haydn - tries hard.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!).
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeh right!!!
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - Scum of the Earth.
James - built like a horse.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - arse.
John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit.
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Junior - hotty and totally good at football.
Justin - aggravating, insecure & jealous.
Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
Kevin - Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis, really nice to women.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.
Kurt - can kick anyone's arse, likes small boys.
Ky - see Kain.
Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurey - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
Luke - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Marc - Fantasises about pretty lights, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke - Tries to tell everyone
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is, not his great looks, mouthy bastard though.
Martin - dresses in stolen gold, loud mouthed arsehole,wees in the bath
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl, which is totally sweet.
Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
Mitchell - the ugliest dog and he don't get any.
Mohammed - Small Penis
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position though.
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Noel - an absolute diamond, sexy, funny and faultless....apart from when it comes to sorting out contents insurance for his home
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in pricks.
Paul - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rashpal - C@@t
Reagen - ...strange.
Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long,long time ago.
Richard - cant see his feet balls are to big
Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
Rikki - see above.
Rob - constantly watches porn.
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott - has serious disabilities.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - best blow ever.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Troy - cute and popular.
Taylor - gay.
Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
Will - wishes he were popular.
Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

Dontcha Just Love Authors Who Slag Off Their Own Editors?

There’s a bit of a mini to-do on the All About Romance list serve at the moment. Basically, the subject was about errors in romance books, and was going along quite nicely, with everybody giving good examples of glitches in books, such as clothing changes in scenes, seating plan errors, etc, then this bint waded in with her size 12’s.

I read this yesterday, and sat back and waited for the shit to hit the fan. As it happens, everybody was well behaved, Godammit.

AngieW, who is never backwards in coming forward, posted this comment:

I have a feeling she didn’t think about how she would come off sounding.

Lynne Connolly, AAR regular, weighed in with this comment:

The writer ( then gets kind of huffy and tries to defend herself:

Ooooh handbags! Talk about knickers in a twist, heheh.

The thing is, never mind the generalisations about ebook editing sucking GBHDB, she doesn’t seem to realise that she’s just slagged off her editor at
Extasy. Maybe her editor is the understanding sort who doesn’t bear grudges. Maybe.

Anyhoo, there are several well-reasoned, and articulate follow-ups from Lynne Connolly and Angie, so if you’re an AAR list member, go have a read, and if you’re not… erm, join up I guess.

In other news,
Tom Cruise has come last in a poll to find the celebrity, people would most like to have as their best friend. Shocker.

I Love Me, Who Do You Love?

The Perfect Man, Barbie's Ken...

Well, you gotta love a woman who thinks she’s the best thing since sliced bread. I got this link, courtesy of KateR. Go read about how wonderful this woman is, no false modesty here that’s for sure, heheh.

If you can’t be arsed clicking on the link, here’s some of what she says:

Narcissistic much? It seems to me that she’s looking for a Ken doll, rather than a real man.

There are some great comments by the way, some that had me crying with laughter. There are some wickedly acerbic-tongued people out there. My fave comment was this one made by some anonymous person:

This comment takes irony to another level:

Very mean, but deliciously funny.

I love her confidence, I really do, but she must have known that most people would read this, and wonder what she was smoking?

I wonder if she realises that her requirements bring to mind, Barbie's Ken doll? Each to their own, I guess, heheh…

By the way, this may just be me, but I do think the new Ken doll looks kinda scary. He looks like a gay prison convict. He also looks like he’s been botoxed to within an inch of his little plastic life. Hmmm... maybe it’s just me…

Friday, August 18, 2006

Do We Really Believe In Love At First Sight?

I know that this subject has been hotly debated in the past, but the reason why I bring it up again, is because I just finished reading Morgan Leigh’s story in the Bad Boys In Black Tie anthology.

The hero and heroine fell in love within a day, and I’m afraid, I just didn’t buy it.

I think I actually resent romance stories, where the hero and heroine fall in love within a short space of time. In some cases, if the story is well written, then I can kinda get over it, but sometimes, even that’s not enough.

This is why I have such a problem with novella length books. Unless the lead characters are best friends, or have known each other for a while, it’s always going to be a struggle for the author to convince me, that the love is real.

There was a bit towards the end of the book where the guy was envisaging the heroine and himself, thirty years down the line. Totally took me out of the story. I’m all for suspending disbelief, but I found that I just couldn’t do it. All I kept thinking was that there was no way this would happen. He’d only just met the heroine, for Oprah’s sake, most of his interest lay in getting her horizontal.

Why couldn’t the author leave us to imagine that her characters eventually fell in love, and lived happily ever after?

Lust at first sight, is a slight cliché, but surely that’s more believable than love at first sight?

What say you?

Top 100 Romances Meme... How Many Have You Read?

I stole this from ReneeW. This list is from AAR's top 100 romances, in 2004. I've emboldened the ones I've read, and the ones in red are on my TBR pile.

1. Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase
Flowers From the Storm by Laura Kinsale
3. Welcome to Temptation by Jennifer Crusie
4. As You Desire by Connie Brockway
5. Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie This has been on the TBR forever
6. Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas
7. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
8. Over the Edge by Suzanne Brockmann
9. All Through the Night by Connie Brockway
10. Sea Swept by Nora Roberts
11. It Had to be You by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
12. A Summer to Remember by Mary Balogh
13. Morning Glory by LaVyrle Spencer
14. The Proposition by Judith Ivory
15. A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught
16. Ravished by Amanda Quick
17. Frederica by Georgette Heyer
18. Mrs. Drew Plays Her Hand by Carla Kelly
19. MacKenzie's Mountain by Linda Howard
20. Mr. Perfect by Linda Howard
21. The Grand Sophy by Georgette Heyer
22. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
23. The Bride by Julie Garwood

24. Devil's Bride by Stephanie Laurens
25. To Have and to Hold by Patricia Gaffney
26. Born in Fire by Nora Roberts
27. Winter Garden by Adele Ashworth
28. Gone Too Far by Suzanne Brockmann
29. The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn
Saving Grace by Julie Garwood
31. My Dearest Enemy by Connie Brockway
32. In the Midnight Rain by Barbara Samuel
33. The Windflower by Laura London
34. Naked in Death by J.D. Robb
35. Whitney, My Love by Judith McNaught
36. Nobody's Baby but Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
37. A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux
38. Paradise by Judith McNaught
39. The Shadow and the Star by Laura Kinsale
40. Dream Man by Linda Howard
41. Out of Control by Suzanne Brockmann

42. Silk and Shadows by Mary Jo Putney
43. See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson
44. Shattered Rainbows by Mary Jo Putney
45. Thunder and Roses by Mary Jo Putney
46. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn
47. Heart Throb by Suzanne Brockmann
48. For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale
49. Honor's Splendor by Julie Garwood
50. Lord Carew's Bride by Mary Balogh
51. Untie my Heart by Judith Ivory
52. Dream a Little Dream by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
The Secret by Julie Garwood
54. This is All I Ask by Lynn Kurland
55. Slightly Dangerous by Mary Balogh
56. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney
57. To Love and to Cherish by Patricia Gaffney
Kiss an Angel by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Heaven, Texas by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
60. Venetia by Georgette Heyer
61. Daughter of the Game by Tracy Grant
62. The Prize by Julie Garwood
63. Reforming Lord Ragsdale by Carla Kelly
64. Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann
65. The Notorious Rake by Mary Balogh
66. Heartless by Mary Balogh
67. Son of the Morning by Linda Howard
68. Sleeping Beauty by Judith Ivory
69. Where Dreams Begin by Lisa Kleypas
70. The Devil's Cub by Georgette Heyer
71. The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons
72. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegar
73. With This Ring by Carla Kelly
74. The Lion's Lady by Julie Garwood
75. The Rake by Mary Jo Putney
Fallen from Grace by Laura Leone
77. Always to Remember by Lorraine Heath
78. Castles by Julie Garwood
79. One Good Turn by Carla Kelly
80. Chesapeake Blue by Nora Roberts
81. By Arrangement by Madeline Hunter
82. Perfect by Judith McNaught
83. My Darling Caroline by Adele Ashworth
84. The Defiant Hero by Suzanne Brockmann
85. The Unsung Hero by Suzanne Brockmann
86. Guilty Pleasures by Laura Lee Guhrke
87. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
88. Kill and Tell by Linda Howard
89. After the Night by Linda Howard
90. More than a Mistress by Mary Balogh
Born in Ice by Nora Roberts
92. Miss Wonderful by Loretta Chase
93. The Charm School by Susan Wiggs
94. Scoundrel by Elizabeth Elliott
95. How to Marry a Marquis by Julia Quinn
96. Angel Rogue by Mary Jo Putney
97. Trust Me by Jayne Ann Krentz (Never read Krentz)
98. Dancing on the Wind by Mary Jo Putney
99. Once and Always by Judith McNaught
This Heart of Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

So, I've read 25 of the books, and have a further 11 on my TBR pile. Not bad to say that a lot of these books seem to be hystericals.

So how many of these have you guys read?

When You're Right, You're Right...

Heee, it looks like some folks have been google bombing, with some great results! If you log onto Google.Com , and type in the word 'failure', guess what pops up? Go look quick before it gets amended or whatever.

This tickled me pink for hours last night, heheh!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Can She Finally Rest In Peace?

Old before her time...

I really hope they’ve finally caught JonBenet’s killer.

I know that this case is years old, but I still think about her every now and again, and wonder if she’ll ever get justice.

She’s a sad example of the evil that man is capable of, and it almost makes me fearful of any children I have in the future.

I didn’t realise that her mother died a couple of months ago. Apparently she had cancer. Just too sad for words.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sex Ed 101 – A Couple Of Reasons To Wear Condoms…

Warning: Photographs of infected male genitalia included in the post below. So open at your own risk.

Genital Warts1

Genital Warts2

Syphillis Feet

I wonder what it is about condoms that drive perfectly reasonable people to take risks with their lives rather, than wear them?

Check out some of these stats:

In my younger days,I can honestly say that I never once had sexual intercourse, without my partner being suited and booted. I had a couple of partners (not at the same time of course) who would have preferred to go skin to skin, but here’s the thing, I liked the fact that bits of my skin were still intact. I wasn’t overly fond of the idea that my genitalia could be covered in warts or spots. I didn’t particularly want to go round scratching my nether regions in public, or checking for funky smells emanating from between my legs.

I certainly didn’t like the thought of lesions marring my otherwise, perfectly cleansed, toned, and moisturised face. The Human Immunodeficiency Virus was certainly something that I could have lived without.

I have to have a Smear test, once every couple of years to check that everything’s ok with my womanly bits, but quite frankly, every time I go, I feel violated.
I loathe these very necessary procedures, so you see, there’s no way I would have risked catching something, because then I would have had to let those bastards prod my privates in an effort to try to figure out which brand of herpes I happened to be afflicted with.

I wonder what kind of sex education our youngsters are getting when their biggest concern is getting pregnant. Unplanned pregnancy can be bad, especially if you’re too young to cope, but I kinda figure that getting the big A is much worse.

If you’re going to indulge in a one night stand, why not take precautions?

For me it’s really simple, as a woman, because men generally let their little heads do the thinking in these scenarios if you respect your body, and yourself, then you’ll make sure that you are well protected. Never assume that this is the man’s responsibility. That’s a sure way of guaranteeing that you catch something undesirable.

By the way, call me naïve, but I didn’t realise that crabs could live in your armpit hair. It’s just as well I get mine waxed off as soon as they even look as if they’re gonna grow. Shudder.

Jane, You Are A Bad, Bad Reviewer: Signed A.N Author...

There’s nothing guaranteed to piss me off more than this kind of reaction to a review:

The one comment here that made my eyes bleed was the bullshit about posting negative comments publicly. She’s acknowledged that everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but quite frankly, this is negated by her first ridiculous statement.

How many times do we have to have this debate?

As my regulars know, I don’t write reviews for authors, I write them for other readers. As far as I can gather, the girls at
Dear Author, do much the same thing.

Yes, it’s great that the author came over to defend a friend of hers, but seriously, what was writing something as assholic as “and what a shame you feel the need to post your negative opinions/remarks like this so publicly” going to achieve? Seriously?

The funny thing is, Jane’s review of the book, intrigued me enough to want to read it myself, in a way that some B graded reviews have failed to do. For Oprah's sake, I even put the damn book on my Amazon Wishlist.

Let me remind you what Susan Elizabeth Phillips and JAK had to say, on the subject of negative reviews:

If you want truly negative reviews, go read some of the D reviews at AAR, then go complain to Laurie Gold, that they shouldn't have been posted publicly. Sheesh.

A Day At Manchester United...And Some Random Photo's...

I took some clients to watch Manchester United V Sevilla yesterday at Old Trafford. We had a corporate hospitality box, and were able to watch the match from the comfort of a nice warm room... Eventually.

When we got to Old Trafford to pick up our tickets, it turned out that our corporate box hadn't been built yet. (They are currently extending the stadium from a 68k to a 76k seater stadium) To cut a long story short, they eventually found us a replacement box, thank goodness.

It was a good day out, the clients were fantastic company. The Tall Guy came too, and he didn't mind in the least that there was only one other bloke to chat to, heheheh.

Anyway, check out the pics below. I've also included some random photo's of where we live and surrounding areas.

Man United V Sevilla




Man United 3- 0 Sevilla

Sir Matt Busby At Old Trafford

The Megastore

People leaving

Half of the famous signage

Some random Japanese fans

Beautiful day

Lovely view

Isn't this a pretty tree?

Another view

Saturday, August 12, 2006

RWA 2006 - Laurie Likes Books Reports...

Check out LLB's report on the RWA Conference this year. Very interesting read indeed.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Network Neutrality: Bloggers Unite - Sign The Petition Now!

Save the Internet: Click here

Congress is pushing a law that would abandon the Internet’s First Amendment -- a principle called Network Neutrality that prevents companies like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast from deciding which Web sites work best for you -- based on what site pays them the most. If the public doesn't speak up now, our elected officials will cave to a multi-million dollar lobbying campaign.

Network Neutrality — or "Net Neutrality" for short — is the guiding principle that preserves the free and open Internet.

Net Neutrality ensures that all users can access the content or run the applications and devices of their choice. With Net Neutrality, the network's only job is to move data — not choose which data to privilege with higher quality service. Net Neutrality prevents the companies that control the wires from discriminating against content based on its source or ownership.

Net Neutrality is the reason why the Internet has driven economic innovation, democratic participation, and free speech online. It's why the Internet has become an unrivaled environment for open communications, civic involvement and free speech.

The nation's largest telephone and cable companies — including AT&T, Verizon, Comcast and Time Warner — want to be Internet gatekeepers, deciding which Web sites go fast or slow and which won't load at all.

They want to tax content providers to guarantee speedy delivery of their data. They want to discriminate in favor of their own search engines, Internet phone services, and streaming video — while slowing down or blocking their competitors.

These companies have a new vision for the Internet. Instead of an even playing field, they want to reserve express lanes for their own content and services — or those from big corporations that can afford the steep tolls — and leave the rest of us on a winding dirt road.

Decisions being made now will shape the future of the Internet for a generation. Before long, all media — TV, phone and the Web — will come to your home via the same broadband connection. The dispute over Net Neutrality is about who'll control access to new and emerging technologies.

On the Internet, consumers are in ultimate control — deciding between content, applications and services available anywhere, no matter who owns the network. There's no middleman. But without Net Neutrality, the Internet will look more like cable TV. Network owners will decide which channels, content and applications are available; consumers will have to choose from their menu.

The Internet has always been driven by innovation. Web sites and services succeeded or failed on their own merit. Without Net Neutrality, decisions now made collectively by millions of users will be made in corporate boardrooms. The choice we face now is whether we can choose the content and services we want, or whether the broadband barons will choose for us.

What's happening in Congress?

Congress is now considering a major overhaul of the Telecommunications Act. The telephone and cable companies are filling up congressional campaign coffers and hiring high-priced lobbyists. They've set up "Astroturf" groups like "Hands Off the Internet" to confuse the issue and give the appearance of grassroots support.

On June 8, the House of Representatives passed the "Communications Opportunity, Promotion and Enhancement Act of 2006," or COPE Act (H.R. 5252) -- a bill that offers no meaningful protections for Net Neutrality. An amendment offered by Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.), which would have instituted real Net Neutrality requirements, was defeated by intense industry lobbying.

It now falls to the Senate to save the free and open Internet. Fortunately, Sens. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) and Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.) have introduced a bipartisan measure, the "Internet Freedom Preservation Act of 2006" (S. 2917), that would provide meaningful protection for Net Neutrality.

On June 28, the Snowe-Dorgan bill was introduced as an amendment to Sen. Ted Stevens' (R-Alaska) major rewrite of the Telecom Act (S.2686) [now HR.5252]. The committee split down the middle on the measure, casting a tie vote of 11-11.

Though meaningful Net Neutrality protections were not added to Stevens' bill, the fight for Internet freedom is gaining serious momentum as the bill moves toward the full Senate later this year. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) has threatened to place a "hold" on the entire legislation unless it reinstates Net Neutrality and prevents discrimination on the Internet.

Heading into August recess, the Senate Commerce Committee reclassified the Stevens bill as the "Advanced Telecommunications and Opportunities Reform Act" (HR.5252) to speed it to conference committee should it pass.

Call Congress today: No senator can in good conscience vote against Internet freedom and with the telecom cartel.

Isn't this just a battle between giant corporations?

No. Small business owners benefit from an Internet that allows them to compete directly — not one where they can't afford the price of entry. Net Neutrality ensures that innovators can start small and dream big about being the next EBay or Google without facing insurmountable hurdles. Without Net Neutrality, startups and entrepreneurs will be muscled out of the marketplace by big corporations that pay for a top spot on the Web.

But Net Neutrality doesn't just matter to business owners. If Congress turns the Internet over to the telephone and cable giants, everyone who uses the Internet will be affected. Connecting to your office could take longer if you don't purchase your carrier's preferred applications. Sending family photos and videos could slow to a crawl. Web pages you always use for online banking, access to health care information, planning a trip, or communicating with friends and family could fall victim to pay-for-speed schemes.

Independent voices and political groups are especially vulnerable. Costs will skyrocket to post and share video and audio clips, silencing bloggers and amplifying the big media companies. Political organizing could be slowed by the handful of dominant Internet providers who ask advocacy groups or candidates to pay a fee to join the "fast lane."

Isn't the threat to Net Neutrality just hypothetical?

No. By far the most significant evidence regarding the network owners' plans to discriminate is their stated intent to do so.

The CEOs of all the largest telecom companies have made clear their intent to build a tiered Internet with faster service for the select few companies willing or able to pay the exorbitant tolls. Network Neutrality advocates are not imagining a doomsday scenario. We are taking the telecom execs at their word.

So far, we've only seen the tip of the iceberg. But numerous examples show that without network neutrality requirements, Internet service providers will discriminate against content and competing services they don't like.

• In 2004, North Carolina ISP Madison River blocked their DSL customers from using any rival Web-based phone service.
• In 2005, Canada's telephone giant Telus blocked customers from visiting a Web site sympathetic to the Telecommunications Workers Union during a labor dispute.
• Shaw, a big Canadian cable TV company, is charging an extra $10 a month to subscribers in order to "enhance" competing Internet telephone services.
• In April, Time Warner's AOL blocked all emails that mentioned — an advocacy campaign opposing the company's pay-to-send e-mail scheme.

This type of censorship will become the norm unless we act now. Given the chance, these gatekeepers will consistently put their own interests before the public good.

Won't more regulations harm the free Internet? Shouldn't we just let the market decide?

Writing Net Neutrality into law would preserve the freedoms we currently enjoy on the Internet. For all their talk about "deregulation," the cable and telephone giants don't want real competition. They want special rules written in their favor.

Either we make rules that ensure an even playing field for everyone, or we have rules that hold the Internet captive to the whims of a few big companies. The Internet has thrived because revolutionary ideas like blogs, Wikipedia or Google could start on a shoestring and attract huge audiences. Without Net Neutrality, the pipeline owners will choose the winners and losers on the Web.

The cable and telephone companies already dominate 98 percent of the broadband access market. And when the network owners start abusing their control of the pipes, there will be nowhere else for consumers to turn.

Who's part of the Coalition?

The coalition is made up of hundreds of groups from across the political spectrum that are concerned about maintaining a free and open Internet. No corporation or political party is funding our efforts. We simply agree to a statement of principles in support of Internet freedom.

The coalition is being coordinated by Free Press, a national, nonpartisan organization focused on media reform and Internet policy issues. Please complete this brief survey if your group would like to join this broad, bipartisan effort to save the Internet.

Who else supports Net Neutrality?

The supporters of Net Neutrality include leading high-tech companies such as, Earthlink, EBay, Google, Intel, Microsoft, Skype, Vonage and Yahoo. Prominent national figures such as Internet pioneer Vint Cerf, Stanford law professor Lawrence Lessig and FCC Commissioner Michael Copps have called for stronger Net Neutrality protections.

Editorial boards at the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle, San Jose Mercury News, Seattle Times, St. Petersburg Times and Christian Science Monitor all have urged congress to save the Internet.

What can I do to help?

1. Sign the petition.
2. Call your members of Congress today and demand that Net Neutrality be protected.
3. Encourage groups you're part of to join the Coalition.
4. Show your support for Internet freedom on your Web site or blog.
5. Tell your friends about this crucial issue before it's too late.

(Got this from
LLB’s blog.)