Friday, August 31, 2007

Wow...and....Wow...



You know, in this here Blogland, there are many things that amuse me greatly, but this post (Anon 6.05 comment) has to be the funniest damn thing I've come across in a good while.

The author, whoever she is, obviously didn't read my previous post on authors and publishers who get caught with their dangling participles, around their ankles. Oh actually, looking at the date of the post, I was possibly too late to help her. Dearie, dearie me. Some people never learn.

Full rant after the cut...


"jadensinclair
Sent: Tuesday, 28 August 2007 1:14 PM
To: MGP_Authors_Loop@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [MGP_Authors_Loop] I have been quiet long enough!

SON OF A BITCH!!

DOES THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO SAY?? IT IS FUCKING SICKENING HOW ONE PERSON MAKES A MISTAKE AND YOU ALL
FALLOW SOMEONE AND GO OUT FOR BLOOD. ARE WE IN THE DAMN STONE AGES?

I SENT OFF ONE MESSAGE TO ONE PERSON AND SHE ACTS LIKE SHE
IS GOD.

I TALKED TO TERESA TONIGHT IS EVERYONE HAPPY NOW???????


THE COMPANY IS CLOSING. MOST HAVE HELPED IN THIS MATTER BY NOT SELLING, DEMANDING PRINT BOOKS THAT DONT SELL AND NOW THIS. IF I SOUND PISSED I AM!

WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT US? THAT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH, WHEN A PUTER GOES DOWN LETS TAKE A HEAD? WHO WANTS US WHEN WE DO THAT.

YOU WANT THE FUCKING SCOOP HERE IT IS...

TERESA HAS NO NET. HER DOG CHEWED THE CABLE, ONE PUTER CRASHED AND SHE IS BROKE. IS SHE GOING TO SHIT OUT A PUTER, OR BEG TO GET ON AT THE LIBARY WHEN KIDS ARE USING THE PUTER TO STUDY? THINK PEOPLE!!!! FOR CHRIST SAKES.

THE COMPANY HAS LOST MONEY. SHE TIRED TO KEEP IT TOGETHER AND FIX THINGS EVEN WHEN OTHERS WERE UTTING THEIR NOSES IN WHERE IT DIDNT BELONG. EVERYONE MAKES A MISTAKE AND YOU ALL WANT HER ASS.

SHE IS GIVING EVERYONE THEIR BOOKS/ CONTRACTS BACK ON SEPT 1. AFTER THAT THE COMPANY WILL BE FILING A CHAPTER 7. SHE IS MAKING SURE YOU ALL ARE NOT TIED UP LIKE TRISK IS WITH CONTRACTS. SO HOWS THAT FOR FUCKING YOU LIKE YOU SEEM TO THINK??? IF SHE DIDNT GIVE A SHIT THEN SHE WOULD TIE US ALL UP AND NOT LET US GO.


WHY YOU COULDNT GET IN TOUCH, SHE GOT A JOB. AND FOR ALL OF YOU WHO THINK THEY WOULD KNOW, YOU KNEW SHIT. I KNEW AS SOON AS SHE GOT IT BUT KEP MY MOUTH SHUT FOR HER. TERESA IS MY FRIEND.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER AGAINST HER THATS YOUR CHOICE, BUT STOP PUTTING ME IN THE MIDDLE HERE. I WAS FRIENDS WITH HER BEFORE SHE STARTED THE COMPANY AND I WILL BE AFTER.

IF YOU ALL THINK YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN OTHERS, THEN GO AWAY QUIETLY. STOP TRYING TO HURT SOMEONE.

REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT HER GETTING TO ANOTHER PUTER IS SHIT. SOME PLACES CHARGE FOR PERSONAL USE ON A PUPLIC PUTER.

NOW THAT THE DIRT IS OUT LET THE DUST SETTLE. GETTING LAWYERS AND SUIEING WONT SALVE ANYTHING BUT GIVING YOURSELF THE REP OF BEING A TROULBE MAKER. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A CHANGE.

THIS SHIT HAS GOTTEN SO OUT OF HAND, AND YOU ALL NEED TO STOP LOOKING FOR A LEADER. IF YOU CANT THINK FOR YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE A MOJOR PROBLEM."



Dear fucking Lord.

By the way, just in case you didn't guess already, she's a best selling e-book author.

Dear fucking Lord.

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Don't These People Know That There Are Predators Everywhere?



TTG and I decided to go down to our local park yesterday to walk off dinner. We often do this, because it's quite beautiful and peaceful there, especially during the twilight hours.

Anyway, we were messing around with his football, when out of nowhere, this toddler ran up to us and started trying to kick the ball.

I looked around to see who the kid belonged too, and I spied a guy slowly ambling down towards us. I figured he was the child's father, so of course I played kick-about with him, waiting for his dad to come and retrieve him.

Imagine my horror when the guy walked right past us.

I looked at TTG and he shrugged his shoulders as if to say, WTF?.

The child was barely two years old if that.

Anyway, I told TTG to go and locate his parents whilst I kept him occupied.

About five minutes later, TTG re-appears with a teenage boy. Apparently he had taken his eyes off his brother for a moment, and the little boy had seen us with the ball, and so, decided to follow us.

The boy was only about fourteen, so I asked him where his mother was.

Apparently she was waiting on the other side of the field. WTF?

Not only does the stupid bitch let her baby wander off on his own, she then sends her young teen to come and retrieve him.

I couldn't help myself. I had to say something.

I asked her what she would have done if we'd been paedophiles, and suggested that in future, she keep a better eye on her child. (Or words to that effect.)

TTG stopped me from going off on a big 'ole rant at her. Dammit.

I realise that children run off if you take your eyes off them for even a second, but surely, knowing that there are evil predators out there who prey on young children, you'd take just a bit more care?

I wouldn't mind, but it was almost 8pm, the child should have been in flaming bed in the first place. Grrrrr.

I'm still so angry I could spit.

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Question Number Two...




As an author, or even as a publisher, would it not be a good idea to have at least a basic grasp of the English language, seeing as you work in an industry where words are all important?

Also, if you are a publisher/author, and you’re trying to make a valid and noteworthy point (possibly also known as defending the indefensible), would it not be a good idea to check what you’ve written before you press send?

My advice is to at least use the spelling and grammar checker in Word before you confirm to the world, that not only are you probably not a good business person/writer, but you also obviously have a problem stringing a coherent sentence together on paper.

Aspiring authors, if you receive any correspondence from a publisher who wants to offer you a contract, and you can barely understand what they’ve written, you might want to consider not signing with them. Or at least check to see if they have a legitimate reason for their rubbish literacy skills.

One thing I’ve learned on Blogland is that bad things seem to happen to authors who seemingly can’t get themselves together enough to write coherently.

It's ok for me to be incoherent, and use shockingly bad grammar, this is just my hobby, not my job.

Just sayin.

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"I have been forced to make this decision based on lack of finances - hormonal females and bitching."




I don't know how accurate this is, but apparently this is what the CEO of Mardi Gras Publishing had to say in response to some of the comments that have been floating around, re the closure of MGP. (Bare in mind this info was posted by an anonymous source, so cannot be taken as gospel.)



Hmmm... Hormonal females eh? Nice...

Incidentally, Teresa, if these aren't your words, just let me know, and I'll amend accordingly. Although judging from this report of your past unethical behaviour, I have a feeling that the words were indeed yours.

UPDATED WITH LINKS ABOVE

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Wherein Beauty Must Never Be Allowed To Triumph Over Brains

Dear Lord, dumb as a box of rocks doesn't quite cover it. Apparently, she won too. Her parents must be so proud...

Stolen from Giselle's Blog.


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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Question....



If you were a best-selling author who got your start in e-publishing, why would you choose to not include those early, and subsequent books on your website?

Possible Answers

1. Embarassment (I’m not sure why though, the e-published books were good)
2. An effort to cut all ties with said e-publisher (Can’t really blame her for that)
3. Wants to be taken seriously as a writer (Hey, your readers take you seriously enough)
4. Doesn’t want to admit to writing ‘smut’ (Hey, sex sells)
5. Pissed off with e-publisher for some mysterious reason (Hmmm… very likely)

Well, I guess we’ll never know unless the author in question talks, so I’ll have to draw my own conspiracy-fuelled conclusions. *g*

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Monday, August 27, 2007

Paying Authors Their Dues Really Should Be A Given...




Oh feeling much better now, TTG even persuaded me that going for a walk in the park was a good idea. He was right.

Anyway, apparently Desiree Erotique hasn’t been paid any royalties for her book for several months. The guilty ones this time, are Chippewa Publishing.

Des writes:



Hmmm…I’d avoid them like the plague in any case

I also got the following e-mail about Mardi Gras Publishing:



Smoke and fire, people, smoke and fire. Anybody know any different, you’re welcomed to e-mail me.

By the way, don't these people know that music on a 'professional website' is a bit, ya know... irritating?

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Currently Spending My Bank Holiday Monday...

Watching Ben Hur in bed, and nursing the hangover from hell...

Incidentally, would it be blasphemous for me to say that there are slightly homoerotic undertones to Ben Hur? *g*

I love me a bit of Charlton Heston though, *ooh er missus*...


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Sunday, August 26, 2007

Is Another E-Publisher About To Bite The Dust?



Apologies for the lack of posts, but TTG and I decided to go away for the weekend.

Anyway, I was just over at the Dear Author site, where Jane’s got a link to Camille Anthony, an e-published author, who’s gone public regarding her lack of royalty payments from Silk’s Vault, an e-publisher, with whom she was contracted with.

Camille writes:




So basically, they haven’t paid her all year, and when the bleeders did pay her, they didn’t include royalties from her sales at Fictionwise. Good going.

Camille continues:




Jeepers creepers. I’m assuming Sarah Tiller is the CEO of Silk’s. I guess she didn’t read Dale Carnegie’s book huh?

Anyway, Jane’s done her bit, and tried to contact the publisher directly to get the other side of the story, but so far she aint biting. I’m guessing that Sarah whoever-she-is, is probably stuck with her head buried in the sand somewhere hoping that all her troubles will go away, as if by magic.

If I was an author at Silk’s Vault, I’d seriously start thinking about taking my books and running like crazy. I don't know about anybody else, but I've never enjoyed being shafted from behind.

Getting published might be a writer’s dream come true, but if you guys aren’t careful about who you hand over your precious babies to, that dream might turn into a nightmare, and you might just end up getting royally screwed, without the benefit of an orgasm.

Triskelion and Venus Press anybody?

Just sayin’.

By the way, if you’re an aspiring author hoping to get e-pubbed, you might want to check out Piers Anthony’s website. Some E-publishers, and authors seem to hate him, because of the gossipy nature of his info, but some of the information that he’s posted about e-pubs, have been right on the money.

No smoke without fire, I say.

If anybody has any further info on Silk’s Vault, you can e-mail me on hairylemony @ gmail. com. All identities kept strictly confidential of course.

Right, now that that’s done, I’m off to get ready for a crazy night out with the girls!

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Why Can't The Women Be Billionaires Too?



You know, we constantly harp on about romance being all about fantasies etc, but somehow, when it comes to giving the heroines we read about, brilliant, exciting jobs/careers, a lot of romance authors seem to take a backward step.

If I read about one more heroine who works in a flower shop or is a struggling P.A, I'll gnaw my own arm off.

Every other HP (that would be Harlequin Presents, not Harry Potter) that I look at has the word 'billionaire' in the title somewhere, and they're usually referring to the bloke.

Why can't the billionaire in the title be the heroine? Now wouldn't that be a novel idea?

I sometimes get irritated by the way some authors use particular jobs to stereo-type the heroine. Case in point, how many librarians have you come across in romance books that have fun exciting lives, go out with their friends, and party like it's 1999? Not very effing many.

Most of the librarians that I've come across in books, have either, never had sex, or perhaps had bad sex in the back of a car with some bloke named Bobby Joe, ten million years ago, so decided that sex wasn't for them. Or else they go home to their cats, and the highlight of their night is when they have to water their Chrysanthemums.

Every now and then, you get the heroine who's an accountant, or a lawyer, but more often than not, as with librarians, this just seems to be a way for the author to demonstrate how dull, boring, and over-worked she is.

Case in point, the heroine in Cindy Kirk's When She Was Bad.

The heroine, Jenny Carman, hasn't had sex in six years because she was too busy working her way up the ladder as an accountant in a big firm. (Does this mean that accountants don't have sex?). When she doesn't get the job that she's coveted for ages, she decides to ditch her goody-two-shoes image, and act like the bad girl, slut-ho she secretly wants to be.

Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the book, but I do find myself getting irritated by the implication that you can't be an accountant and lead an exciting life.

Why can't heroines have great jobs too? If we're going all out on the fantasy angle, would it be asking too much to give the heroine a half interesting career, without turning her into an uptight mare, who thinks that sex was invented just to stop her from achieving her goals?

Just once, I'd love to read about a heroine who was the billionairess, without the money being inherited from her wealthy daddy. I know that in real life, it's not that common an occurrence, but it does happen every now and then.

I'd also like to read about a heroine who's the president of a company, rather than the personal assistant.

I'd like to see more books with the heroine as a soldier. I've mostly given up reading s.e.a.l/military based romantic suspense books, but I'd probably give them another go, if it was the heroine who was the soldier, not the guy.

Do you ever wish that women in romance books, were on more of an equal footing to the guys, with regards tro their financial status? Also, what jobs would you like to see heroines in romance books given?

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Romance Isn't Romance If The Bedroom Door Is Left Open...




There was a rather interesting column up at Romancing The Blog, (I know, I too was shocked, interesting RTB columns only seem to happen about once every six months) when this comment caught my eye:

"The trouble is the borders, subjective borders, between romance and erotica. Personally I would call anything that has graphic sex scenes in it erotica rather than romance - for me Romance “closes the bedroom door” when it comes to The Act itself."

The column itself was talking about too much sex in romance books, erm or something like that (yes I know we've been here before). The columnist was careful to point out that she was talking about traditional romance (does anybody know what traditional romance is these days btw?), not erotica. (g)

What bothered me most about the above comment was the implication that books which keep the bedroom door open, aren't true romance. Now I know this is obviously her opinion, but my opinion is that that's the most absurd thing I've read for at least a week (Hey this is Blogland, there is no shortage of stupid comments around these parts).

I think the columnist herself made a pretty good point about overblown (heheh) sex in books, but I'm thinking this does depend on the writer.

There are some books that I've read where the book was essentially made up of one sex scene after the other, (not that that's always a bad thing mind, depends on the mood I guess) and very little plot. These are the books that annoy me no end, but on the other hand, Valdez's Passion, started off with a sex scene (erm, not the penetrative kind, mind, I think it was more groping, than anything else) and let's face it, there was enough sex in the rest of the book, to defrost even Anne Coulter, but for me, the key to the sexiness, was the writing itself. Passion was very much a character-driven story, which makes all the difference in the world.

Bad sex can spoil a romance book for me, but no sex, basically guarantees that that romance book wont ever get the chance to piss me off, cuz I aint buying it. Myopic much? Probably.

This is why me and inspirational romances could never be.

Hmmm... Does this mean I'm a sex-obsessed freak? *g*

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Karen Tries To Put The Shopping Away...



The other day, TTG and I were putting away the shopping, when we got onto the subject of the difference between my romance books, and porn. This is how the conversation went:

TTG: *Grabs book off kitchen top*
TTG: Jesus, this is pure porn.
KS: No it’s not:
TTG: *Reads out loud* “Her tongue flattened, raking the sensitive flesh beneath his cock and she felt another pulse of liquid, fall from the engorged flesh”
KS: What’s your point?
TTG: That’s porn:
KS: ::BLINKS::
TTG: If you put that scene in a film, it would be pornographic.
KS: It was romantic.
TTG: ::BLINKS::
TTG: *Looks at cover suspiciously*
TTG: Hmm… isn’t she the writer who likes anal?
KS: Erm…
TTG: Do you think she likes it up the arse?
KS: *lifts head from out of the fridge* Who?
TTG: Her
KS: *Checks cover*
KS: Dunno.
TTG: I reckon she does.
KS: Where did you put the toothpaste?
TTG: In fact, I think most of your writers are probably into kinky stuff
KS: What kinky stuff?
TTG: You know… water sports, and that kinda thing
KS: *SIGHS*
KS: I don’t read fetish books
TTG: Isn’t anal sex a fetish?
KS: Erm… I dunno.
TTG: Take away the storyline, and you’re left with porn.
KS: ::BLINKS::
KS: At least my porn has words.
TTG: So do mine
KS: ‘Suck Me Big Boy’ ten million times doesn’t count.
TTG: It’s art.
KS: Uh huh…
TTG: ::Silence::
TTG: Do you wanna go to bed?
KS: *Lifts head from shopping bags*
KS: What?
TTG: I feel horny.
KS: ::BLINKS::
KS: I’ve got a headache.
TTG: I bet the women in your books never have headaches.
KS: The men in my books all have twelve inch dicks, so what’s your point?
TTG: ::Silence::
TTG: So do you think she likes it up the arse then?
KS: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, WHO GIVES A SHIT! NOW FIND THE FUCKING TOOTHPASTE!

Men.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Do You Ever Return Books?



Over on the All About Romance List, they're talking about returning books. As in, how often people return books, and why.

Anne Marble, AAR moderator, asks:

"Do you return books, and if so, for what reasons? And are there reasons for which you would never return a book? Is there a point where you will not return a book after reading a set amount -- whether a couple of chapters or a large portion?"

I must admit, I rarely ever return books, even the crap ones. I did return a book earlier this year, but I did have a good reason. I can't even remember the name of the book, but I'd already read it, and didn't realise it at the time. Actually, there might have been another book that I returned, but I simply can't remember what the book was, or why I returned it. In 2006, I can categorically say that I never returned one book, not even the stinkers.

I don't even return books when I accidentally buy two copies. This happened with J.D. Robb's Rapture In Death last year, I ordered a copy from Amazon, then went to Borders, saw it, and bought it there, having totally forgotten that I'd actually already bought it from Amazon. (Does anybody else ever do this?)

I can't remember what I did with the second copy, but I certainly didn't return it. Hmmm...I might have actually given it away on the blog.

Anyway, this comment from one of the AAR regulars bemused me somewhat:

"I returned a book once b/c I hated it. It was about 10 years ago and
money was really tight. I felt that the publishing industry "stole"
what little money I had. Now that I actually make a living wage I
wouldn't dream of returning a book simply b/c it's awful."


If I could be arsed, I would totally return a book that sucked great big hairy ones, the only reason I don't, is because I'm so damn lazy. Returning a book because it's awful is the most sensible thing one can do methinks, otherwise, you just feel cheated.

What say you?

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Just In Case You've Been Living Under A Rock...



Bam's FIRST BOOK, Skin To Skin, was released on Friday. Whooo hooO!!

You can read my review of it here, and buy it, here.

Seeing as it's still the weekend, this is my excuse to post a totally random 1985 Madonna classic, and the theme song from Dawson's Creek (you know, back when Katie Holmes didn't look so other-worldly).

Enjoy the book and the videos!




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Saturday, August 18, 2007

So, What Upcoming Releases Are You Looking Forward To Reading?



I just read an excerpt of Elizabeth Hoyt’s upcoming release, The Serpent Prince, over at Sybil’s, and I just can’t wait till it comes out. I read The Leopard Prince and The Raven Prince, and loved them both, so this one has been eagerly awaited.

Hoyt writes the kind of hystericals that even a contemp-maniac like me can get her teeth into, plus her books are sexy as hell, with wonderfully rich and unique characters.

Dammit, October can’t come quick enough for me!

What must have book are you guys eagerly waiting for?

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Don'tcha Wish Your Boyfriend Was Hung Like Him?




HelenKay has an interesting link to some bint who thinks that romance books are harmful because they make us stoopid women long for the stereotypical romance hero in our real lives, plus let’s face it, most romance is porn for women anyway, and we’ve all seen the effects that watching porn has on men, haven’t we?…erm or something like that.

For the sake of clarity (you guys know I’m all about clarity right?) here’s what she actually wrote:



Yeah, so basically she’s saying that most women who read romances will eventually find their real lives, and their real life partners dull in comparison to the dashing dukes, and devilishly handsome heroes, that most romance books eschew.

I’m sure it wont surprise you to learn that this columnist is a right-winger. They always have the best ideas don’t they? *g*

Now, my initial reaction to the column was, what the fuck is this bitch talking about? But upon further contemplation, I wondered if she actually had a point?

No, not the whole ‘harmful’ crap, because Lord knows, there are certainly worse things out there than reading romance, for instance things like a somebody stabbing a two year old child to death, that kinda shit.

No, I’m wondering if, as romance readers, we are looking at our husbands and expecting them to be like the heroes that we love to read about.

I must admit, it’s never occurred to me to wish that TTG would do something as romantic as carry round my button in his coat as a reminder of when we met. Apart from the inconvenience of having a button knackering up my washing machine, I’m not sure if the reality is as romantic as it seems when we read it in La Nora’s books.

Do we secretly wish that our husbands could be as alpha as some of the heroes that we read about?

Do we wish that our significant others would wake up without the nastiness that is morning breath?

Do we secretly wish that our S.O’s would walk round with perpetual hard-ons because they’re thinking of us all the time?

Do we also wish that our S.O had a twelve inch dick, and was built like a brick shithouse? Seriously girls, having a guy with a dick that big can be a real pain in the arse. *g*

Personally, if my hubby started demanding sex ten times a day, I’d divorce his ass.

Flowers are lovely, but if he ever sent me a room full of the stuff, I’d demand to see the bill, then proceed to beat him over the head with my hardback copy of Nora’s Born In Death, for wasting all that money, when I could have gone out and bought lots of nice clothes instead.

If TTG ever threw me to the ground, and started trying to have his wicked way with me whilst somebody was shooting at us, I’d punch him in the nose and tell him to get a grip.

In short, on paper, there can be no denying the appeal, but would we really want our husbands to be perfect little Ken-dolls, with hard abs, and tight asses, who can make us orgasm during penetrative sex, even without the benefit of foreplay?

Hmmmm... what was my point again? *g*

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

When Karen Met Lori...

So, TTG and I met up with Lori from Let’s Gab, and Don’t Talk, Just Read on Monday evening. We met in Nottingham, which is approximately two hours away from where we live, so we decided to stay in a hotel for the night.

It was really quite wonderful meeting Lori, and her hubby. They were both charming, and fun to talk to.

During the five hours we spent together (most of it in the Hardock Café in Nottingham) we covered a variety of subjects, including books (of course) politics, religion, Hilary Clinton, BDSM books, and George Bush. The conversation about George Bush was fascinating. We also commiserated with Lori and Hubby on the state of the US Dollar against the British Pound. (Seriously $2.25 for £1? Sheesh.)

Incidentally, Lori and I decided that we really just don’t get BDSM, and paranormals aren’t our cup of tea at all, and that Samhain have the best e-books at the moment. I love her like a fat kid loves cake.

The men ganged up on us, and sympathised with each other with regards to our obsession with books. TTG bitched and exaggerated about my daily deliveries from Amazon, and Lori’s hubby did the same.

We had a great time, and there was no lull in the conversation at all. Isn’t it lovely when that happens?

All in all, we certainly had a great time, TTG found somebody with whom he could share his love of all things historical, and I found somebody who knows the importance of finding a good quality hotel. Not bad eh?

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

Karen Does Dionne Galace's, Skin To Skin...




So I read Dionne Galace’s (AKA Bam), first published book, Skin To Skin, a couple of days ago.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the blurb from Samhain:



My Verdict

It. Was. Too. Effing. Short.

But I loved it. It was hot, and sexy, and great for a good bout of mid-week horizontal Lambada with TTG.

I fully expected Skin To Skin to be a good read, because half the reason why I think Bam rocks like a threesome with David Beckham and Will Smith, is because she’s so damned funny. I just couldn’t see how her natural humour wouldn’t manifest itself in her first book.

Leilani was exactly the way that I often wish romance heroines would be. She was a girl who wanted a man, and wasn’t afraid to go after him. She was a girl who wanted to get laid, and wasn’t beyond wearing skirts so short that you could see her thongs. (I too am all about those pink thongs, great for hiding wet patches apparently *g*) She was a girl who didn’t have insecurities about herself, and liked who she was. She was the way that most romance writers tend to portray their heroes. Sexy, and confident. I loved that.

I have to say though, she was also a girl who named her dog Fifi. Man, that shit’s just wrong.



Ms Galace’s hero was hot too. For some reason, I kept channelling The Green Arrow, from Smallville. Man he’s hot, and I did find myself wondering if that was who Ms Galace had in mind when she was creating Oliver’s character.

Oliver Clayton was a cop who was recuperating from a shot-up thigh, and was trying to keep a low profile, if only the brazen hussy next door would let him go a minute without making his little head throb painfully, by continuously flouncing past in her skimpy, sexy excuse for clothes. Unfortunately for him, the brazen hussy next door was all his big head, and his little head could think about.

I liked Galace’s writing style, her voice totally appealed to me, and had I not known that this was her first book I would have assumed that she was an old pro had been doing this writing gig for a while.

I think the main weakness in the book came with the dialogue (mainly Leilani’s actually). Leilani’s slightly ‘street’ vernacular was on the verge of annoying the hell outta me, but luckily the book ended before I could get to that point.

Overall, it was a quick (too quick), fun, sexy read, which although didn’t test my mental capabilitie, showed great promise in terms of the future potential of the author.

It’s a shame Skin To Skin didn’t suck GBHDB, it would have been interesting to see how Ms Galace would have dealt with one of my slice and dice reviews. May be next time eh? *Evil Grin*.

Is it evil of me to want to compare this book with the mess that was Ben’s Wildflower? Probably. So I’ll refrain. *g*

By the way, this is who I Leilani reminded me of:



Feisty isn't she? *g*

Skin to Skin will be on sale at Samhain Publishing from 17th August, so make sure you check it out!

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Ahhh Good Times Indeed...

I heard this for the first time in ages on MTV, the other day. IW always reminds me of going clubbing with my girlfriends and us going crazy whenever it came on. It's such a chick anthem. Enjoy.


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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Romance Authors Can Be Victims of Domestic Violence Too...



“Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.
Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”


US Department of Justice: Office on Violence Against Women: Domestic Violence

I was reading the really sad story of Nancy Richards-Akers, a romance writer who was murdered by her husband a few years ago, and I couldn’t help but wonder if domestic violence is just as prevalent within the homes of romance writers, as it is everywhere else.

I didn’t realise that her murder had been the third time within a three year period, that a romance writer had been killed by her husband.

Continued after the cut…

Apparently, Pamela Macaluso, and Ann Wassall, romance writers from California, had also been killed by their husbands in 1997, and 1996, respectively.

According to an article in Wikipedia, 20% of all violent crime experienced by women in the US, are cases of intimate partner violence.

I’m pretty sure a lot of readers probably don’t think about authors who write about falling in love, being victims of domestic violence themselves. Thinking about it boggles the mind, but here are some stats that I picked up, from various websites.

In England 16 per cent. of all crimes are cases of intimate partner violence



Bureau of Justice Statistics: Intimate Partner Violence and Victim Age group 1993-1999

Does anybody know what the average age of romance writers are?

Some more scary US based stats for you:


85-95% of all domestic violence victims are female.


Over 500,00 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year.


5.3 million women are abused each year.


1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner.


Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women.


From American Institute on Domestic Violence

Also, according to the Home Office for England and Wales, 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence in their lifetime.

Those are scary statistics aren’t they? With stats like those, it seems inevitable that some of the authors that we revere will probably have been victims at one point or other in their lives. Some may still be victims, but perhaps aren’t telling.

I was reading this article by Jean Marie Ward, about Richards-Akers, when this paragraph caught my eye:

Reading this made me wonder how many romance authors out there are actually victims of domestic violence, but yet publically maintain that they have fantastically understanding husbands, who support them in everything they do.

I must admit, I always wonder at the real truth, whenever I read author bios, that spend about ten paragraphs extolling the virtues of their significant others. Call it the cynic in me.

I’m willing to bet that a substantial percentage of romance writers have been victims of domestic violence, at some point in their current relationships, but possibly feel that it would shatter the illusion that some readers have of romance authors having happy, satisfying marriages.

It seems unbelievable that people who dedicate their lives to writing about love, mutual respect, and trust, may be living in nightmarish situations, that few of us can imagine, but I’m guessing that these people exist in Romanceland, and that you may have shared a drink or two with them, without ever guessing at the real truth.

Help for victims of domestic violence is available, I’ve listed some sites for anybody who needs information on how to get that help. Before using the websites, I thought it would be prudent to post the same warning message that the USDOJ has on their site:

(“Warning: Before e-mailing or using this Web site, know that an abuser in the home can discover your Internet activities. The safest way to find information on the Internet would be at a local library or a friend's house. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), TDD 1-800-787-3224.”)

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (USA)
OVC (US)
Institute on Domestic Violence in the African-American Community (USA) (music on home page so you may want to lower the volume)
Family Violence Prevention Fund (USA)
Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre, Australia
Shelternet, Canada
Women’s Aid, UK
American Domestic Violence Crisis Line For Americans Overseas

USA National Domestic Violence Crisis Line 1-800-799-7233.
Womens Aid Helpline UK 0808 2000 247


Information Sources:
Home Office – Crime in England and Wales 2004/2005
Wikipedia
American Institute on Domestic Violence

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Does Rap Music Equal Gun Crime?



This subject has been on my mind for a couple of months now, but today, our local rag featured photographs of all the people who have been victims of gun crime, since 1999. There were fifty-five people in all, and although that probably doesn't sound a lot to some of you Americans out there (who are probably used to shootings happening on a daily basis), to me, those numbers are absolutely appalling.

What's even worse is that in 29 of the cases, nobody was actually brought to justice.

A lot of the shootings have been due to tit-for-tat gangland one-upmanship, which is something I've never been able to get to grips with.

One of the killings happened a couple of months ago, and made the national news. The boy who was gunned down, had previously refused to join a gang, despite the pressure put on him. Unfortunately for him, his bravado seems to have led to his death.

My question is, why?

A while ago, I was listening to the radio, and the argument was about the role that rappers play in promoting gun crime, and violence.

I must admit, I tend to want to reject that notion altogether. After all, I have brothers who listened to rap music, growing up, and they are both fine upstanding citizens.

I refuse to listen to rappers like The Game, because I think he's a bad role model for kids, due to the themes of violence that seem to run through a lot of his songs, but for some reason, I always thought that he was in the minority. Apparently I don't listen to enough hard core rap, according to some acquaintances, because his stuff is tame in comparison to a lot of the underground rappers. Who knew? Fiddy's as hard-core as I get, I'm afraid.

So waddaya think? Is there a correlation between gun-crime and rap, or do you think rappers are getting a bum-rap, and being blamed for things that are beyond their control?

Hmmm....

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Monday, August 06, 2007

Karen Does, Pam Rosenthal's The Slightest Provocation



Blurb taken from the back of the book:




Ahhhhh, doesn’t that sound just wunnerful...? Hmmmm...

My Verdict

Jesus. Effing. Christ.

I can’t tell you how much it irritates me to read historical books set in England, when the language is more or less incomprehensible.

That was my biggest problem with Pam Rosenthal’s,
The Slightest Provocation. OK, that, and total boredom. I admit it, I got to page 56, and gave up. I just couldn’t carry on reading.

The writing was cumbersome, sluggish, and painful. The plot promised much, but delivered very little.


At first I thought the premise seemed really exciting, and I was looking forward to the redemption of Kit and Mary as a couple. Unfortunately for me, by the time I got to the last page( AKA page 56) I couldn’t give a monkeys what happened to them. I didn’t particularly warm to Kit, and I certainly didn’t think much of Mary. A death knell in any book, if you ask me.

If I hadn’t spent the majority of the time trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and what the fuck the characters were saying, I might have enjoyed the book better, but unfortunately, the book was trying to be too clever by half.

I know that as readers, we constantly crave for the writer who dare take a risk, writers who dare to be different, but you know, sometimes, less is considerably more.
The premise of the two lead characters in a book being involved in adulterous relationships is fairly ground-breaking I think, well certainly one that I haven’t come across before, and had it been executed better, it may have worked, unfortunately I just couldn’t get past the language thing, the non-existent pace of the book, and the incoherent and (sometimes) clumsy prose. Even the sex scenes were dry as a nun’s c*nt.

Who knows, maybe the book improves later on, but seeing as I’d virtually lost the will to live by page 20, and was wiping the blood from my eyes by page 40, I knew that this was one book that I wouldn’t be finishing anytime soon.

I wish there was a way I could get my £6.99 ($14) back. God I hate feeling cheated. Now, where did I put my beloved Anne of Green Gables...?

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Is It Wrong That I Found Optimus Prime Totally Hot?




TTG and I just came back from seeing Transformers The Movie. I can't tell you how much I loved this film. The best this year as far as I'm concerned.

I used to watch Transformers as a kid, and watching this movie gave me such glorious back-in-the-day chills. The special effects were A-Mazing. No lie. Tyrese Gibson was hot as per usual. Damn I love that man like a fat kid loves cake.

The Autobots were fabulous, Megatron was evil incarnate, and the rest of the Decepticons were fantastic to watch. Wasn't Bumblebee cute? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt gutted when he got hurt.

This movie rocked so much, that I'll be getting it on DVD once it comes out. Who says these films are just for kids? *Happy Sigh.*


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I Always Wanted To Be A Spice Girl...



Oooh, somehow with all the madness over the past couple of weeks, I managed to miss the fact that Harlequin’s erotic Spice Briefs line is up and running.

Spice Briefs cost just $2.99, and the wordcount is generally between 5k and 15k words. There’s a $0.99 special offer on the books until 15th August, so go buy!

When I was over there, I noticed that Sarah McCarty’s Letting Go was the top seller so far. Fabulous.

Somehow, it also managed to escape my notice that Eharlequin are now offering e-books for all their lines. Anyway, I immediately went and ordered Sarah McCarty’s, Letting Go, and Jessica Bird’s, The Billionaire Next Door. I must say though, I'm most annoyed that the text-to-speech functionality isn't operational on their Lit books. One of the great things about MS Reader, is having the option of being read aloud to. I hate that publisher exclusive downloads excludes this function. Dammit.

By the way, am I the only person who struggles to remember romance heroes and heroine names, after reading a book? I was packing up some of the books on my keeper shelf this morning, and I found that I couldn’t remember half the character's names, and these were books I loved! Sheesh…

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Friday, August 03, 2007

Last Month's Search Phrases...



Some people search for the strangest things...

Is Harriet Klausner influential? - Well, is she?

Karen Scott Tits - Erm, I promise there are no photographs of my ladies anywhere on here...

Latinabuse - Very popular search phrase for my blog, I still don't know what it is.

how do u squirt sperm into someones mouth - Yuck...

maintaining prolonged sexual orgasm - I'd like to know too

what's considered a big penis - 12 inches, and lots of girth...

why are women bitchy to other women? - Jealousy mainly, what do you guys think?

hanging cleavage - (heheh)

why do guys like to cum on a woman's face? - fuck knows.

big cock diaries - People keep these kind of diaries?

women hating successful women (wow, there's definitely a theme here...)

how to cum on a womans face - I wouldn't have thought a manual was required...

is cum good for a woman's face? (yes, this is a very popular search phrase on my blog)

flowers IN The attic book sex scene excerpt - (was there a sex scene?)

carol lynn porn - (hehe)

I want to fuck carol allen - no idea who she is...

giving my brother a blowjob - Uggghhhhh

blog women like big penis inches - And that's wrong because?

how can a woman hate another woman for no reason? - Might as well end on a high note eh?

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

Let's Agree To Disagree, Yes?



You know, the reason why the comments were disabled last week was because I didn't actually want to turn this whole thing into a blog mess. Seriously, and actually, it didn't, did it?

Had Cindy Cruciger left things well alone, after my Friday post, I would have simply ignored her for the rest of my days, and it wouldn't have been a hardship for me.

Cindy, you've poked and prodded, and poked and prodded at me, Jane, and the SB's for about 4 months in an attempt to get some kind of attention/reaction from us, but despite all of your valiant efforts, we managed to ignore you for long enough.

I wasn't in the habit of visiting your blog, because I'd decided upon your very first comment here, that you weren't somebody who interested me enough to bother with. You were so under my radar, it wasn't funny.

But then came the whole Ann Vremont picture incident, and that's when your moral crusade against bitchy/mean bloggers started. Not as you keep claiming, eighteen months ago.

You felt it was your duty to teach the likes of me, and others 'similar' to me, how to blog properly, so you started your Blog Etiquette 101.

During this time, you took great pleasure in pulling our tails whenever you could. You wanted a reaction, was quite desperate for it infact, but we persevered and ignored you, because we thought you'd get fed up, and find another pet project. We were wrong. You didn't, and in fact, you seemed to get worse.

Eva Gale wrote that this all started because you were sticking up for authors, but seriously dude, you know that's a lie.

Cindy, all this started because you felt hurt, rejected, and much maligned, which was mostly in your head, because actually, at that point, nobody was paying any attention to you. Did the Mancusi/Maverick thing take place in March, when you began your crusade? I think not.

Like Robin already mentioned, the photographs of Jane, and the SB's that you posted, and the accompanying comments, came during a time when most readers and bloggers were feeling good about authors, due to a lot of the reports from these ladies. I never did understand the timing of that post, but it's not for me to try to decipher what you were thinking.

Selah March talked about sticking by her principles, and once again, standing up for her friends, but at some point, she needs to go back to how all of this started, and it wasn't with the M&Ms.

When the SB Comments Marathon started, I don't recall one horrid comment from either of the girls about Maverick, and Mancusi, in fact, from what I gather, they were very much on their side of the argument, correct me if I'm wrong Candy.

Cindy Cruciger blamed the SB's for attacking the girls, and letting others attack them, when in fact, as far as I can gather, the main cusp of the conversation was about the relevancy of dress, and whether Cosplay was appropriate in certain situations, e.g. RWA conference. Out of the 600 plus comments, there were very few that went beyond the boundaries of taste and decency.

This was just an excuse for you, Cindy, to hammer at the girls, and you know it.

Do you understand that actually, if you're going to campaign for all that is great and good, you cannot then crawl into the gutter, and start rolling around in it? That's called hypocrisy, and sooner or later, people were bound to call you on it.

Like I wrote in an earlier post, the problem with holding yourself up to a higher standard, is that you just cannot indulge in the same mode of behaviour that you apparently find so distasteful. That just doesn't work.

You have got to get some perspective on this before it's too late. One day, you will wake up and find that you just wasted four months on crap, that in the great scheme of things, really doesn't matter. And it doesn't, it really doesn't. In a couple of weeks there will be another Romanceland kerfuffle, and this and the Cosplay thing will be forgotten. That's the nature of Romanceland, and as far as I can gather, it's always been pretty much that way.

I'm willing to let sleeping dogs lie, Cindy, because let's face it, no matter how much you deny it, this hurts yourself, Eva Gale, and Selah March much more than it does me. And even if you don't want to sell books, don't you at least want to be able to get back to not feeling as if the whole world's against you? No matter how strong minded you are, that's gotta hurt, because at the end of the day, you are only human.

I'm willing to call a truce.

You stay away from me, and my blog, stop the whole Mean Bloggers crusade thing because, let's face it, that's not working out so well for you is it, and just do your own thing. Stick to slagging us off within the confines of your personal group or private e-mails. I am totally fine with that.

If you agree, then I'll stop, but if you feel as if you have to continue with this, then I too will continue. The choice is yours.

This is an opportunity for both of us to put this behind us. I really think you should take it.

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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Isn't Unrequited Love A Bitch?




The Ersatz Jane Litte (Jane at Dear Author)
from COMPUTER COLONICS by FerfeLaBat

"One thing writers know when they see it is fiction.

While to my knowledge Jane Litte has never outright said she is a board certified lawyer, she has done little to dissuade the rumors and has, in fact, been dispensing legalese like candy on websites far and wide. The real lawyers preface everything they say with qualifying credentials and few of them would give it away to complete strangers and take on a huge risk of liability.

They bill out $200 plus an hour at the office. When your living is made dispensing knowledge, you don’t give it out to complete strangers free of charge unless it’s pro bono and you can write it off.

She has said repeatedly that she is “just a reader” … in much the same way Dick Cheney is “just a hunter” I guess. Right up to the Triskellion meltdown she happily hosted some of the most horrific Mosh Pitt parties on her own blog.

Since then she has kept her little corner of the web fairly clean of controversy and has chosen to use other bloggers to get her power kicks. When Jane Litte (aka ?) sets out to ignore someone and tells everyone else to ignore them, she really ignores the hell out of them huh?

For someone who just spent a week making sure everyone knows exactly who I am, she is quite the mystery woman herself. Other than that one picture and confirmed sightings at RWA does anyone know who Jane Litte really is?

As she’s flitting around on everyone else’s blogs accusing me of everything but screwing Hitler (possibly even of screwing Hitler) consider the source … or lack there of.

If I don’t know who or what I am dealing with I keep far far away from it. There’s just no point in fighting fantasies on the web. When I want to do that I’ll put it in a book and make real money off of it."

__________________________________________________________

"I wracked my brains trying to figure out how to mimic Jane’s Way of using someone else’s blog to … well … you’ve seen her work first hand I’m sure. Yesterday I had an epiphany.

If Karen Scott is any kind of friend to Jane she won’t scrape this onto her own blog to display it forever and she’ll let it die after a few hours here on Computer Colonics. But because Karen is friend to no one, I believe she’ll stay true to form and copy it over. Thus I will have used someone else’s blog to … You know.

With friends like Karen, who needs enemies eh? Sick. Two down. One to go.

Comments closed on this one because I do not have time to moderate."

Cindy Cruciger, Author - AKA FerfeLabat - Ferfelabat.com


"From 7:30 am Eastern until 9:30 AM Eastern I posted a fierce commentary. It was blistering. Like a fish I almost caught last weekend - fucking HUGE I tell ya!! But. Two hours is my outside limit for someone like Jane. I taunted Karen to scrape it onto her blog. I blew her big-assed raspberries! Double dog-dared her. She missed out.

While I am aware of the fact that Karen is limited by AOL Dial up issues, life’s a bitch. She didn’t need to burn that last bridge anyway." (hehe)

"I am learning a new respect for the four horsemen.

Deliberately targeting someone …

You have to be completely empty inside to do what they do to people. It feels gross."

Cindy Cruciger, Author - AKA FerfeLabat - Ferfelabat.com


3 comments
1. threedeelicious Jul 31
I’m sure one of your unique visitors already copied it into an email anyway. I must confess to being bummed, however, at its being taken down. Particularly as the alternative is work.

2. FerfeLaBat Jul 31
I do believe that The Ersatz Jane Litte was some of my best work. And. Twenty-nine unique visitors got a shot at saving it off before I remembered I was a human being. So much for my mean reputation eh? Some University Press thing scraped it so — all is not lost.

Besides. If they didn’t see it they are now climbing out of their skin wanting to know what it said. That’s even better than a direct asault. Less is more, right?

Now get to work.

3. Selah March Jul 31
Damn. Missed it. This is what I get for spending my time writing.

*is sad*


And suddenly it all made sense to me. I used to think The Little Shop of Horrors was just a cute musical with no deeper message, but it’s more. Authors contribute blood to this beast and it has grown to a size where it is big enough to eat us whole.

I accomplished two monumental things at least:

· Panda Candy is now moderating her blog and hopefully what happened to Liz, Marianne and Sherrilyn will never happen again.

· Karen Scott (a self avowed atheist) found God again for five amazing days.


And with this post, I am done. (hehe)

Cindy Cruciger, Author - AKA FerfeLabat - Ferfelabat.com

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Some Definitions of Obsession...




The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

noun

1. an irrational motive for performing trivial or repetitive actions, even against your will; "her compulsion to wash her hands repeatedly" [syn: compulsion]
2. an unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone


Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source
ob·ses·sion / Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uhb-sesh-uhn] Pronunciation Key -

–noun 1.
the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.


American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source ob·ses·sion (əb-sěsh'ən, ŏb-) Pronunciation Key
n.

Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

ob·ses'sion·al adj., ob·ses'sion·al·ly adv.

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